Page 26 of Dirty Behavior

My feet patted across the floor as I skirted around the trouble spots in the wood. That was a habit I knew I was going to have to try and break. It was ingrained in my muscles to walk lightly, to dance across the floor like air.

That was no way to live.

If I wanted normal, I had to create normal. There was no better time to start then now.

Forcing my heel into the wood for my last two steps, I climbed back into the bed and tugged the covers up high. I laid there smiling, feeling empowered with my ability to choose, and the freedom to even know I didn't have to creep around.

This is home, right now it's my home.

The footsteps started to ascend up the stairs, their thumps less pronounced and audible.

“Did you find anything good?” I said loudly, curling up deeper into the blankets.

There was no response, the footsteps stopped short, every creak went mute.

Rolling over, I rested my head on my hands. “Did you find anything to eat? I'm starving.”

Still nothing.

What the hell is he doing?

If he thinks he's going to be funny and scare the shit out of me, he's wrong.

“I know you're on the stairs!” I yelled. “Quit fucking around!”

A blackness painted my muscles, stiffening my veins and turning them to ice.“Hello?”Pressing myself up higher, I hugged the covers. “Enough, stop being an ass!”

I could hear breathing, but the air was still voiceless. The footsteps started back up, coming faster and stronger.

Maybe he just has a mouthful and can't talk.

Shaking off the uncomfortable feeling that tried to take hold, I settled back into the bed. I knew he was either just screwing with me or had food stuffed in his face. But that thought wasn't helping to calm my body.

It's your gut.

Don't ignore your gut.

My mind was a torrent of mixed emotions. I promised myself I would always listen to that knot in my stomach. If it ever came again, I wouldn't ignore it. There was regret in not having trusted it when I should have.

It was back, gripping my insides, scratching and clawing away to force me to open my eyes.

But I chose not to listen to the twisting knots in my stomach, making me feel sick, or the room around me fading away just so I could focus on what I was about to face.

I don't need that here.

I'm safe in this house.

I tried to convince myself that nothing was about to happen, that Dante was going to come walking through that door laughing at me. I felt my chest start to tighten as the air turned to molasses, making it hard to breathe.

The first number popped into my head, the automatic system that had been tattooed into my mind to help me settle down started to roll on its own.

Counting, I held a hand to my chest and tried to convince the oxygen around me to flow in smoothly.

Don't do this. There's no reason for it, just stop.

The door was partially closed, making the hallway invisible. But as the feet crept closer, that feeling inside my stomach wouldn't go away. My belly was clenched tight, my ribs burning to just feel one cool breath.

“Stop fucking around, I don't like it.” Straining my voice, my words were barely audible between the loud swallows of emptiness.

---