Shaking my head yes to each question, she stood in awe on top of the platform looking down.
There was about twenty kids, all varied in age. Punching bags hung from the ceiling, a couple of small practice rings divided the center. Sparring mats were sprawled around the room to practice floor maneuvers.
Watching the commotion below, we saw kids hitting the bags, while others took turns sparring with each other on the mat. Other coaches guided them in their moves, correcting positions, encouraging them to keep going.
From the corner of my eye, one of the coaches, a guy the kids called Sarge, sent a wave in my direction. Nodding my head up to the rafters, I said, “So, do you still think I'm an asshole?” My hands wrapped tightly around the bar anchored on the platform. “Maybe now you'll give me your number so I don't have to break in anymore.”
“I don't know what to think.” The muscles twisted in her face, barely a blink falling over her eyes. “Is this why you can't fight, because of this?” Her neck angled looking up, digging deep into my soul.
My tongue went numb, I knew she would ask again, still wondering'why?'
Facing the kids, head trapped in a blank gaze, my mouth opened, trying to force it out. I wanted to tell her the story I've kept inside. The demon of my past, the boiling fire of my gut.
The reason I went ape shit on Steel.
Her delicate fingers traced my knuckles, their tender feel sliding over my wrist and up my arm. With that single act the story flowed off my lips like hot lava.
She needed to hear it, I needed to say it, Cadence deserved to know.
“It was almost three years ago. I used to fight professionally, and was really good at it too. I'd been making my way up the scene, taking out guys as easy as it would be to steal fucking pudding from the elderly. Back then my drinking was... In its prime, I guess.” Waving off the last sentence, I kept going. “One night I went out and got really fucking wasted. I was supposed to have a huge match the next day.” Pausing, I forced air into my lungs; the hot oxygen soaking into my chest like sharp pinpricks.
Cadence drew in a breath as if she was about to speak, holding my hand up, I silenced her. “Let me finish.” My head fell down, eyes empty as I relived that moment in my head.
Shifting my feet, I said, “I never made it to the ring, I was so fucked up, I slept through the whole day, missing my fight. When I finally came to, I grabbed my phone and saw, God, I don't know... Fifty missed calls.” My body shuddered and Cadence saw it, tightening her hand around mine. “I called back my coach, and let me tell you, his words still echo in my head every fucking day, Cadence.” They replayed in my ears when I woke, they played in my ears when I slept, I couldn't turn them off.
“Quinn, you missed a fight. Who-” Slicing her words in half, my voice growled from the back of my throat.
“That's not it.” Heaving my chest furiously, a rippled blade dug into my stomach, twisting its sharp edge, peeling back the wound I had tried to close. “My friend, my best friend, Rainee, he stood in for me, he took my place. He shouldn't have been in the ring fighting that day,it was my fight.”My teeth ground together as the words hit them from behind. “He died, Cadence. He died in the ring that day, and it should have been me. I've never forgotten that, never forgave myself for it.”
Her face went taut, lips sagging downward, eyes darting between mine. “Quinn, I-I'm sorry. I had no idea.”
My knuckles were white, gripping the bar to the point of numbness. My muscles twitched under the skin, contorting with anger, rage,hatred.
I hated myself for not being there.
I hated the man who stole Rainee's life.
I hated that a life was lost because I fucked up.
It shouldn't have come to that, it never should have gone that far.
It should have been me.
“Rainee, he was like family. His mother treated me like another son, it was her I gave that promise to. She pleaded with me to walk away, save my own life.” Turning to face Cadence, my hands fell by my side. “So that's what I did, I left.”
Gazing up, she stepped in close, her arms walking around my waist. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry you had got through that. But it's not your fault, you couldn't have known, Quinn.”
Resting my chin against her cheek, the warm apple washed across my skin. For that instant, that single second in time, I felt alive.
It had been years since I felt my veins course with any sign of life. That loss, having had my best friend taken in a flash, it struck me to the core. There wasn't a moment that passed that Rainee didn't cross my mind.
Emptiness had consumed me from the inside out, then I found these kids, and now...
Cadence.
From the first time I caught her in my sight, I was going to make her mine; Now, even with the threat of her father...
She WAS mine.And I was going to do anything to keep it that way.
No one would ever take her from me.
That was a promise I made to myself.
And a promise I was making to her.
I will save her.