Page 80 of A Cage of Magic and Darkness

He frowns, his dark eyebrows drawing together. “What do you mean?”

“In the cave, with the Mage, she told me the truth about who I am. I’ve always been conscious that I don’t have the same kind of magic as many pure blood Fae, that it simply didn’t come easily to me, and the Mage explained why.”

“Why?” he gently prompts.

“I’m not full-blooded Fae. I might look like I am, but inside I’m not. I don’t know where the mixed bloodlines come from—I assume my father’s side, since my mother’s magic was always strong—but in the end it doesn’t matter. I’m not who I make out to be.”

He stares at me, and the corners of his mouth twitch.

I glare at him. “Are you…laughing at me?”

He clamps his hand to his mouth then spins away so I can’t see his face. “I’m sorry, Taelyn, I don’t mean to laugh when this is clearly important to you, but what exactly do you expect me to say?” He turns back to face me. “I mean, have you looked at me?”

Of course I’ve looked at him. I’ve imprinted his face to memory. I’ve brought it up in the darkest moments of night when I’m alone. I’ve held it in my heart during the times I’ve felt I couldn’t go on.

“I don’t understand what you mean,” I say eventually.

“Do you know what I’d give to look like you, or Balthorne, or my father? My whole life, I’ve lived with this face.” He gestures to his features. “With this color hair, with my lack of wings, my appearance has always made me stand out. I’ve asked myself over and over if my father would have actually loved me if only I’d looked like him instead of my mother. It’s blighted my entire existence.”

“But you’re beautiful,” I admit. “The first moment I saw you, I was entranced. Yes, you look different, but that’s not a bad thing. You wouldn’t be you if you were any other way.”

He takes my hand and holds it to his chest. “And you wouldn’t be you, either, if you didn’t have whatever it is inside you that makes you who you are. Who cares if you’re not full Fae? I don’t. It’s who you are as a person that’s important.”

“What if people find out?”

I’m ashamed, and I hate that I’m ashamed. I wish I had Ruarok’s confidence.

“Peopleshouldfind out. You should be honest about your struggles. Your people will admire you all the more for it.”

“Admire me because I’m not perfect?” I don’t understand why that would be.

“You’ll be perfect because of your flaws, not in spite of them.”

A Fae queen with no magic. Am I really the right person to rule the kingdom?

“You left the borders of Askos and went out into the wildlands to find a Mage to try to save the kingdom. Who gives a damn how much magic you do or don’t have, or what kind of blood runs through your veins? Your bravery and willingness to sacrifice everything for the sake of your subjects is what matters. If people can’t see that, then more fool, them.”

He speaks so passionately, as though my opinion of myself angers him, that I can’t help but smile. Maybe he’s right. Have I judged Ruarok badly because he’s not full Fae? Maybe I have, a little. Perhaps it’s time to admit myown prejudices, though before now I would have insisted I had none. I’ve been lying to myself all this time. Not having full Fae blood shouldn’t immediately mean I’m a lesser person.

“Thank you, Ruarok. You’re right.”

He smiles and pulls me into him. “It’s good to hear you say that. You should say it more often.”

Playfully, I bat my hand against his chest. “That would involve you needing to be right more often, which, frankly, I can’t see happening.”

“Would I be right if I said I think I should kiss you?”

My cheeks warm, my lips tingling. “I can’t tell you what you’re thinking. Only you know that.”

“In that case, I’m definitely right.”

He catches my chin between his thumb and forefinger and places his lips to mine. I melt against him with a soft sigh and open my mouth to him, inviting in his tongue.

His strong body is like heaven pressed to mine. His erection is already hard between us. I reach down and cover him with my palm, squeezing my fingers around him.

“Fuck, Taelyn. You’re killing me. I want to be inside you.”

“Now?”

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