Page 4 of Summer Redemption

I’ve been running from relationships ever since.

There’s only been one girl in my life who I thought might be worth giving the whole commitment thing a try, but I fucked that up before it was ever a real possibility. I doubt I’ll ever get to make it right and apologize for being a jerk to her.

While I might not do commitment, I’ve never lied to a woman. I’ve enjoyed them. I’ve rocked their worlds. But I’ve never lied and never promised them more than I was willing to give.

“Because it’s time you grow up,” Noel deadpans.

I shoot him an incredulous look and scoff. He has no fucking idea.

“I’m plenty grown up,” I huff. “You can’t say that I don’t take damn good care of the horses and take that shit very seriously,” I argue.

While I can understand where he’s coming from, where both my brothers are coming from considering they look at me likethe screw up of the family, they can’t say I don’t take my responsibilities seriously. I love the ranch, and I work fucking hard on it.

Fletcher makes a sound in the back of his throat, but when he looks at me and sees the hard set of my jaw, his eyebrows pull together. We’ve had this same conversation I don’t know how many times, but this feels different. I have no idea why.

“Hux,” Fletcher sounds cautious, “you take amazing care of the horses.”

Noel opens his mouth as he looks at our oldest brother, but when he looks at me the confusion becomes readily apparent on his face. Yeah, I might not take a lot seriously, it’s something I’ve curated over the years, but that doesn’t mean I’m still a kid.

Even when I try and shake it off, the feeling lingers. Resentment. Anger. Invisibility.

I don’t like it.

With a shake of my head, I down the rest of my beer and stand up. I nod toward the bar and mumble, “I’m going to grab another round.”

Without waiting for a response, not needing or wanting one, I stride away from the table. There’s no real reason for me to be pissed at my brothers.

Wasn’t I the one who wanted to be seen as the clown in the family? It was easier than being the one responsible for everything like Fletcher or the one with a strict sense of morality like Noel. Then there’s Carson.

With a sigh, I lean against the bar top. Carson is our only sister and two years older than me. She never really fit inat Limitless Ranch. Even being a Burns through and through wasn’t enough to tie her to the land.

Honestly, I can’t really blame her. For a while there I thought about getting out of Wintervale like she did. It was something I wrestled with for a long time.

But who would have been left? Just Fletcher and our parents since Noel was out saving the world. Carson was gone and chasing her dreams too.

It was just Fletcher, who had the weight of the world on his shoulders, at least from my point of view, and me, who found it easier to make a joke out of life instead of letting it get too heavy. There was enough of that already with Fletcher.

Not being taken too seriously has worked for me for a long fucking time. But I’m starting to see that it’s a little hollow.

Will I always be seen as the jester of the Burns brothers?

The thought is unsettling and causes a pit to form in my stomach. I’m not saying I want a lot more, but being taken seriously when it counts, when it matters, would be nice.

I’m not sure they take me seriously when it comes to the ranch, which I’ve put my blood, sweat, and time into just like Fletcher has. Just like Noel has since he’s come home. Sure, I haven’t added an equine therapy program like Noel has, but I’ve put the horses on our ranch first. I’ve been up all night with them in the barn when they’re foaling. I’ve talked to them, brushed them, ensured they have everything they need to not only live, but to thrive.

I’m not paying attention to anything around me, but I do manage to give a nod of thanks when three beers are set in frontof me. “Thanks,” I mumble and turn to leave after slapping some cash on the bar.

I don’t bother looking up, I don’t want to be pulled into a conversation, one where I’ll have to fake it. Don’t I do that enough in my life as it is?

When I move back toward my brothers, I plaster a grin on my face. Instead of looking at my brothers, who have probably already brushed off my little emotional outburst, if you can call it that, I look around The Range.

It’s the same shit.

It always is.

The women around tonight are all women I’ve hooked up with at some point. I shudder internally at the thought of another meaningless one-night stand. What the fuck is going on with me?

Hooking up has been more than enough. Why does it feel like it’s lost its shine now?

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