Page 34 of Reaper

Time stalls, the world tilting on its axis. No. Nononono. This can’t be happening—not now, not ever. I’m not father material; hell, I’m barely human some days.

“Run it again,” I snap, desperation in my tone. “It’s gotta be wrong. It has to be.”

“Already did before I called. It’s ironclad, brother.”

My hand tightens around the phone. My knuckles turn whiter than bleached bone. I’m afather? The word echoes in my skull, a cruel joke played by fate. Images of a child looking up at me, expecting … What? Love? Guidance? All things I’m fresh out of.

“Fuck,” I hiss, the word slicing through the air, raw and savage. “I’d be the worst father ever.”

“Reaper—”

“Shut up.” The walls close in, and my breaths come in short, fast bursts. “I can’t—I can’t deal with this right now.”

“Listen, you’re not alone. The rest of us, well, except Talon, we’ve all got kids. We’re herefor you, brother. We’ll help you figure out how to be a family.”

“Family?” I spit out the word like it’s poison. “You think I want to drag a kid into my world? Into this life?”

“Maybe it’s not about what you want. Maybe it’s about what he needs.”

“Dammit, Matrix!” I explode. “Just—just run the damn test again!”

“Reaper, I—”

“Run it!” The command is a gunshot, final and deadly. There’s silence on the other end of the line where my brother’s voice should be, but it’s too late. I’ve already killed the call, severing our connection.

I lean against the wall, but the cool plaster does nothing to quench the fire consuming me. A father. Me? The thought is as horrifying as staring down the barrel of a loaded gun.

“Fuck,” I whisper into the darkness. “What now? Nina. She’ll know what to do.”

Pulling my keys out of my cut, I head outside to get my bike. Two prospects are sitting in the rocking chairs Nina bought us at the beginning of the summer. They immediately jump to their feet. Fear flashes across their faces.

“What the fuck are you two doing? Aren’t you supposed to be on patrol?” I get right in one of the prospect’s faces. He’s about half my size and cowers under the threat.

“Sorry, man. It’s just been so quiet since theshootout.”

“But that shit can change in an instant. Where the fuck is Tucker?”

“Reaper!” Tucker jogs over, materializing out of the forest. “What’s up?”

“These two lazy fuckers are sitting on their asses. Put them to work.”

“Right away, brother.”

As Tucker barks orders, I turn my back on them and get on my bike. I trust that he’ll be able to handle shit while I’m gone. Tucker has never fucked up. Not even once.

The roar of my Harley slices through the silence as I tear down the highway, the wind battling against me like an adversary I can neither defeat nor escape. The throttle vibrates under my grip, shuddering with enough pent-up energy to mirror the turmoil in my chest. Every mile puts distance between me and the chaos in my head, but it’s not enough. It never is.

Matrix talked about Ace becoming my family. But that would mean Lexi’s going to have to be a part of it too. But how can I ever trust her again after this? Trust isn’t something I take lightly. Other than my club brothers, everyone in my life has betrayed me.

Everyone.

As I drive up the long road to Nina’s place, the ranch’s formidable walls silhouette the horizon. The place is a fucking fortress, and it should be. It’s where we hide the peoplewe’re helping until we can get them into a sort of underground railroad. We’ve sent dozens of innocent women, men, and children into hiding over the years. We’ve got clubs all over the country. Once we pass the person off, we don’t know where they end up. That’s part of the system. It ensures that they can’t be tracked. If we don’t know where they go, then no one else can get that information out of us.

I slow as I approach Nina’s place. The security gate stands before me, a barrier that keeps the outside world away. I pull up to it and put my foot down to balance the bike while I wait. When the dust settles on the gravel, I kill the engine. Silences settles around me. The chirp of birds in the trees and the vibrant blue sky overhead do little to ease the rage bubbling up inside me.

I look up at the camera. Its unblinking eye fixes on me, and for a moment, I’m tempted to turn around. To run from what awaits me on the other side of that gate. Nina’s shrewd, and she calls me out on my bullshit, but I need her take on things. I’m willing to deal with her judgment if it means earning a little wisdom along the way.

The gate buzzes. The sound grates against the birdsong while the gate slides open. Nina didn’t even ask why I’m here. She probably already knows. At this point, Matrix must have told everyone. The whole club knows about it, but they’re smart enough to leave me alone.

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