Page 86 of Matrix

“What would I have to do?” Suspicion fills her eyes.

“Testify that Blackstone is part of the human trafficking ring.”

“No,” she whispers.

“Angie, you’re the only one who can connect him to the New Orleans cartel. You’re the only eyewitness we have.”

“You have to find someone else. I can’t. I’ll never tell anyone what they did to me.” She starts sobbing.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry I pressured you to talk about it.” I hug her to my chest and rock her until her crying becomes a whimper.“You don’t have to say or do anything unless you want to. I promise.”

“Pinky promise?” she asks, hiccuping.

I hold out my little finger until she offers her own. When we wrap them around each other, she smiles, despite her swollen eyes.

“Get some sleep. Don’t worry about anything, okay? I love you, and I swear I won’t make you testify,” I say.

“You promised you wouldn’t.”

“I won’t.”

As I wait for her to crawl under the blankets, I silently kick myself for pushing her too hard. This is exactly why I should have waited a few more days. If I’d talked to her with the help of a victim’s advocate or a psychologist, they could have helped me keep her calm. Instead, I stressed her out. Now, she might never open up to me again. I really fucked up.

Hanging my head, I leave and return to my room. Matrix is still sleeping. I don’t dare wake him. Instead, I sit in a chair beside the bed and run an endless loop through my mind of all the ways I’ve messed up in the last few months. What just happened with my sister is only the tip of the iceberg of my incompetence. My relationship with Matrix is just one more fuck up in a long line of mistakes. If I don’t get my shit together soon, everythingwill fall apart. I’ll be lucky if my sister still talks to me after today. I wouldn’t blame her if she wanted to shut me out. She shouldn’t have to discuss the details of her kidnapping. If she never wants to tell anyone, then that’s her choice. I’m letting my love for Matrix cloud my judgment. That’s why we can’t work as a couple. He’s taking away my objectivity, and it’s affecting both my work and my other relationships.

I love him, but I don’t see how we can stay together. My sister’s healing must be my top priority. As if that’s not enough, my job is also too important to walk away from. People like Blackstone will never be brought to justice unless I’m in the fight, battling evil men like him to help victims like my sister. I can’t give that up for love. It’s just not worth it. Somehow, I have to find a way to break things off with Matrix. Itwill break my heart and his, but it’s the right thing to do.

Chapter 21: Matrix

Talon and I are sitting on the porch, sipping beer while watching the river rush past the clubhouse. For the last few days, Daisy has been trying to get her sister to agree to testify against Blackstone. So far, Angela isn’t budging. She doesn’t want to tell anyone what happened. I get it. After Talon and I escaped Blackstone’s dungeon, we never talked about it again. Maybe it’s time we did. We can’t go to law enforcement about what Blackstone did to us all those years ago, but it’s not too late for Angela.

“Maybe if we talk to her about how we were Blackstone’s prisoners too, she’ll be more open to talking to the Feds,” Talon says.

“I was thinking the same thing, but she’s got to be terrified,” I say.

“Yeah, I get it. Remember how we were after we finally escaped? Fucked up, big time. We hardly spoke to anyone. There was no way in hell we would talk about Blackstone or what he did.” He pauses momentarily before asking,“Have you ever told anyone about those years we spent in his dungeon?”

“Not really. Daisy knows a little bit, but not much. I hate discussing it.”

“I’ve never told a soul. Sometimes I wonder if we should have pushed each other to go to the cops. Nina was so supportive. She would have backed us up.”

“Probably, but we can’t change the past. All we can do now is try to find a way forward.”

I lean back in the Adirondack chair. Staring up at the bright spring sky, I savor the openness and freedom of being outside. After being locked up in a dungeon for years, I never take beautiful days for granted. Every one of them is a gift.

“Do you think Angela would listen if you tried to talk to her?” Talon asks.

“She’s thirteen and traumatized. Even if I gave it my best shot, it might not work, and I’m afraid of making things worse. Maybe in time, she’ll come around.”

“What if she doesn’t?”

“Then Blackstone will be free to destroy more people, just like he did to us. I’ll never forget being imprisoned. At night, it was so dark I couldn’t even see my hand in front of my face. I had to listen to the rats scurrying around and hope they didn’t find my toes. I still have terrifying dreams about it.”

“Same.” Talon’s face falls. He chugs the rest of his beer.“Nothing will make the nightmares stop. And believe me; I’ve tried everything.”

“I gave up years ago. Some things just stay with you, no matter what you do.”

“Hopefully, Angela’s parents will take her to see a good trauma specialist. Even if she never testifies against Blackstone, I don’t want her life to end up like mine,” Talon says.

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