Page 31 of Nitro

I pull her hands free and redirect them to my hips. She grabs me tightly as I speed back onto the highway. I push the bike harder through each turn. By the time we’re cornering the last bend, we’re leaning so far that my knee almost hits the pavement. She’s screaming at me, but I can’t stop. I need to get her off the back of my bike so I can be alone.

As I skid to a stop in front of the clubhouse, the door opens. Scar walks onto the porch. His frown is laced with worry. It’s not about Blackstone. It’s about the rest of the guys. He knows how we get because he was like that too before he met Julia. She healed his heart. The rest of us are still broken. He gets it, but there’s nothing he can do to fix us. The mutilated fragments of my soul are beyond repair.

“Shut up,” I tell Scar before he can try to stop me.

“Nitro, talk to me,” Holly pleads, still clinging to me.

“No.”

“Then at least let me go with you.”

“Holly, get off the bike,” Scar says sternly.

The fact that he’s trying to order my woman around enrages me. I throttle the bike. “Last chance or you’re coming with me, and what you see might make you wish you’d never met me.”

“Drive.”

Her command brings Scar running down the steps, but he’s too late. I leave him in a plume of dust. Holly’s going to hate me when she finds out where we’re headed, but there’s no going back now. I gave her the choice to remain ignorant of my past, but she chose the truth. She just doesn’t know it yet.

As I pull onto a Forest Service road a mile from Blackstone’s place, I slow the bike to a crawl. Although he’s never had patrols this far out, things could change now that he’s living here. I need to be cautious. For now, protecting Holly is more important than getting revenge.

I head toward the hiding spot we use when we’re spying on Blackstone’s place. As I get closer, bile rises in my throat. For a minute, I think I’m going to vomit, but the gentle squeeze of Holly’s hands around my waist anchors me to the present. I don’t slip into the past like I normally do whenever I come out here.

I park near one of Matrix’s cameras. He’s got them set up outside of the property line. Most are mounted to trees, and they’re very well hidden. Still, I don’t want to take anything for granted. The thought of being captured by Blackstone makes me sick to my stomach. I can’t imagine returning to that hellish place.

After turning off the bike, I sit for a full minute, just staring through the trees at the mansion. I can’t see it very clearly from this distance, but that works for me. If I could blast this place off the face of the earth, I would. Unfortunately, Matrix doesn’t have access to nuclear warheads. Believe me, I’ve asked about it more than once. If he did get his hands on any, he’d leave nothing but scorched earth where the mansion once stood. Even then, it wouldn’t be enough. I want to burn this whole area to the ground.

“What is this place?” Holly asks softly.

“Hell.” I pull off my helmet and set it on the bike. I stand, then help Holly to her feet. “How are you feeling?”

“The pills are wearing off, but I’ll be okay. I want to know what’s going on.”

“I know you do, but you have no idea what you’re asking me. You’re opening Pandora’s box.”

“What secrets does it contain?” She tries for levity, but it falls flat.

“The demons of my past.”

“That’s … a lot.”

“Yeah.”

“If you’re not ready to talk about it, I understand. I’d never make you reveal anything you’d rather keep to yourself.”

I take a second to contemplate what she said. The fact that she’s not pushing makes me more inclined to share my secrets with her. “Do you know who Jonathan Blackstone is?”

“The Silicon Valley billionaire who’s running for governor of Montana?”

“Yeah.”

“Is that his mansion?”

“Yeah.”

She takes my hand in hers and waits patiently. I struggle to figure out how to even begin my story. Do I start with my parents who pimped me out when I was just a baby? Do I tell her about the meth lab explosion that almost killed me when I was six? Or should I skip all that shit and go straight to Blackstone?

Holly takes a tentative step toward me. It’s all the encouragement I need to pull her into my arms. I try not to crush her because she’s already hurting. The sooner I tell her about Blackstone, the sooner we can get home. Only, I still can’t figure out how much I want to reveal.

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