Page 8 of Chasing the Horizon

“Can I just say how happy I am that we’re doing this?” Esme began.

Hannah smiled. “Can you elaborate on that? Why do you feel that way?”

“I just never imagined that Victor and I would, you know, ever get back together,” Esme said. “I never imagined he would want to work on himself like this. I know he’s a renowned therapist and people turn to him for help. But he’s always been so guarded.” Esme wet her lips and added, “I don’t know if I’m supposed to talk about Victor like he’s not here?”

Hannah laughed gently. “You can address Victor however he feels comfortable. What do you think, Victor?”

Victor wanted to remind Hannah that he had many decades of experience, experience that she couldn’t fathom. What was she, thirty-two?

He took a breath. “I’m just here to listen and learn.”

Esme put her hand on his knee. Her smile reminded Victor of what she’d looked like when they’d first met—decades and decades ago, at Esme’s engagement party. Obviously, she hadn’t married the other guy.

“We’ve been through a lot,” Esme continued. “Should I, um, tell you everything?”

“You can tell me whatever you think is appropriate,” Hannah offered.

“Well, we lost our son. It’s been some years ago now,” Esme said, her legs shaking slightly. “He died of cancer when he was just a boy. It obviously destroyed us both.”

Esme glanced at Victor for confirmation, but Victor kept his eyes forward. He was suddenly frightened that he was going to burst into tears in front of Hannah the therapist. He didn’t want to show weakness. He knew what he, as a therapist, would make of that.

“We got divorced shortly thereafter,” Esme continued. “Victor moved to Rhode Island and remarried while I raised our girls here in Nantucket.”

“How many children do you have?” Hannah asked.

“Four, including Joel,” Esme said.

Victor bit his tongue and told himself to keep it together. But when he looked at the clock, he realized only four minutes had elapsed. He still had another fifty-six to get through.

Esme turned her head. She gave him a look likeisn’t it your turn to talk?

Victor sputtered to life and said, “Bree and I got divorced.”

Hannah nodded.

“But that marriage doesn’t matter,” Victor hurried to say. “What matters is Esme and me. What matters is how we can fix this.”

“But I think both of our second marriages do matter,” Esme said. “I think we have to learn how to accept all the different parts of each other, all the stories we’ve had since we were last married, and learn how to love the brand-new versions of each other. I’m terrified that we’re falling in love with a fantasy.”

“I don’t feel like it’s a fantasy,” Victor was quick to say, although the minute he said it, he wasn’t sure he believed himself.

Hannah shifted back in her chair and crossed her ankles beneath her. Victor tried to read her body language, to guess what she wrote in that little book. But her expression was passive and difficult to gauge. It infuriated him.

“Esme, why don’t you talk a little bit about your second marriage?” Hannah suggested. “If you feel comfortable.”

Esme swallowed. “I do feel comfortable. I do. But I’m worried that Victor won’t contribute.”

Victor’s stomach sloshed.

“Why don’t you think Victor wants to contribute?” Hannah asked.

“Because he feels guilty for leaving me,” Esme said.

Victor flared his nostrils and stared at the clock, willing the minute hand to move faster.

“He was cheating on me,” Esme continued.

Victor wasn’t sure why that was relevant.

---