Page 39 of Chasing the Horizon

“You were sensational today, Esme,” Victor said under his breath, taking her hand.

He wondered if she would bring this up in therapy next week. He wondered what Hannah would say.

“I don’t know what you said to that poor girl,” Esme said. “But she needed you so badly. So did Valerie.”

They turned to look at one another. Their eyes echoed with love.

Victor wanted desperately to make a joke. In a stupid, teenage voice, he said, “So can I buy you, like, a pizza later?”

Esme cackled, catching on right away. “You think you can get a date out of me that easily?”

Victor shrugged and pretend pouted. “I just thought maybe you had a crush on me.”

Esme rolled her eyes. “I’m pretty sure you have a crush on me, Victor Sutton.”

“Esme, I have a crush on you.” Victor’s heart filled.

There on Catherine’s sofa in the middle of Greenwich Village, as the snow swirled and blanketed the city outside, they kissed with their eyes closed. In his heart of hearts, Victor felt twenty-five years old. In his heart of hearts, he felt happier than he had in decades.

Chapter Fifteen

June 2025

It wasn’t till midnight that Bethany returned to the emergency waiting room to update them on what was going on behind the scenes with Valerie. Victor and Esme were stricken, drinking bad black coffee in plastic chairs and not talking to one another. Sometimes they held hands, but sometimes even that felt too intimate. Victor had the sense that their thoughts were running wild, in circles and never able to come back together.

Rebecca had given the keys to her eldest daughter, who’d driven all the kids back to Rebecca’s place, where they’d ordered pizza and were hanging around, nervously waiting for news. According to Rebecca, a few of them had fallen asleep, and her daughter had gently put them to bed upstairs, grateful they were able to get some rest.

But Victor, Esme, Rebecca, and Bethany stayed, of course. Alex was here somewhere, too. But they hadn’t seen him yet.

Victor couldn’t fathom what Alex was going through.

Haven’t they already gone through enough?Victor thought, remembering their years in San Francisco, Alex’s struggle to get sober, and their difficulties around getting pregnant.

They’d come to Nantucket to start over. How was it possible that this was waiting for them?

Bethany was pale and looked small in the hospital lights. She collapsed on the chair beside Victor and stared down at her feet.

“They’re going to perform a C-section in about thirty minutes,” she explained. “Valerie’s still, um… She still hasn’t woken up.”

Esme hissed and pressed her forehead against Victor’s shoulder. Victor’s heartbeat was slow.

“They think she might be in a coma for a while,” Bethany explained. It was like she was trying to sound matter-of-fact, but it wasn’t fully working. “But the baby seems okay right now. The baby seems stable. We’ll know more when he’s born.”

Born into tragedy, Victor thought.

When Bethany returned to the deep hallways of the hospital, Rebecca, Esme, and Victor gathered together in prayer for Valerie and the baby. Victor found himself taking over much of the prayer, saying things to the Lord he hadn’t thought to say in decades. His eyes were heavy.

A few minutes after that, Alex’s parents arrived, having only just been told what was happening and that the baby was coming tonight. Victor and Esme hugged them hello but couldn’t manage much else. They sat across from Victor and Esme and held hands, staring around the waiting room as though waiting to wake up from this dream.

Sometimes they got up to get more coffee or buy bottled water. Sometimes they got up to pace. When one of them mentioned eating food, it was immediately dismissed or forgotten about. What was food when your heart was breaking?

Another two hours later, Alex appeared. To Victor, he looked like something out of a horror movie, his cheeks hollow and his hair greasy and all over the place. He was wearing scrubs. Immediately, he hugged his mother and announced to everyone in the room, “My son was born. He’s stable and sleeping.” And then, he burst into tears.

Victor understood. There was no joy to be had without Valerie there.

All her life, she’d wanted a baby. Now that the baby was here, what now?

They would love her son, even if…

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