Page 28 of Chasing the Horizon

There had been difficult moments, especially at the beginning. But now that they were headed for that Manhattan interview, Valerie had the sense that everything was clicking into place.

“He mentioned something strange the other day,” Valerie confessed. She wasn’t sure if she was betraying her father by saying this.

Rebecca and Bethany hunkered over the table in the sunroom, putting their elbows up.

“He mentioned that he’s never been able to trust another therapist,” she said. “He mentioned that he’s never been able to be fully honest with them because he doesn’t know if they’re going to manipulate him or push him in a direction he doesn’t want to go. He said it within the context of talking about Esme going to therapy after Joel’s death.”

Rebecca’s eyes echoed her alarm. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Valerie sipped her apple cider. “When he said it, I tried to show as much empathy as I could, you know, and I talked him through it. But I don’t think it bodes well for their couple’s therapy.”

“And he was supposed to be going to therapy on his own, too,” Bethany remembered.

“Yeah. I don’t think that’s going well, either,” Valerie said.

The three Sutton girls were quiet. Snow was beginning to stack up on the windowpane.

“Let’s keep our eye on him,” Bethany said. “It’s all we can do.”

Chapter Eleven

On the eve of Christmas Eve—December 23rd—Victor found himself back in his office to meet Kade. Since last week, there had been nonstop snowfall, blanketing the island and making everything bright with winter cheer. Kade’s Great-uncle Jack brought Kade into the waiting room with snow fluttering through his white hair and a resounding laugh as he said, “We nearly slid off the road!” He clapped Kade on the shoulder and asked Victor if they could have a moment to talk alone. Victor asked Kade to wait in his office for a little while, and even gave him a little chocolate bar from the drawer of his desk. When the door was shut between the office and the waiting room, Jack and Victor went to the opposite corner to speak in soft tones.

“He hasn’t been able to sleep,” Jack said, his eyes furtive. “I wonder if you could prescribe him something? I think the nightmares are getting worse, and I think he’s doing everything he can to keep himself up. He’s too scared to sleep. But that’s just my theory.”

Victor nodded. Impossibly, the boy was even more gray-faced and thinner than he’d been the last time he’d seen him. “How did the end of school go?”

“He got passing grades,” Jack said. “But his teachers say he barely responds in class. I think he had a falling-out with that friend of his, too. I don’t know what to do, Victor. I’m at my wits’ end.”

Victor’s heart broke for the man and the boy. Kade’s Great-uncle Jack was too old to father a little boy, and Kade was too old to fold easily into a new schedule, a new life. He was born for the open seas. He was born for a life of adventure.

He was only eleven years old. It meant he had seven years left before he could get back out there—if he was ever strong enough to build his own life.

Jack left to grab a cup of coffee down the road. Victor entered the office to find that Kade hadn’t touched his chocolate bar.

Victor kept his tone light. “Do you not like chocolate?”

Kade shrugged. “It’s fine.”

“That’s wild. I have yet to meet anyone who doesn’t like chocolate,” Victor said, sitting across from Kade and taking another chocolate bar from the drawer. Suddenly, his mission was to make Kade take a bite and enjoy something for a change. He opened the top of his. “I still remember the first chocolate bar I bought with my own money when I was a boy. I was a lot younger than you, maybe six or seven, when I did a ton of yard work for my mother. She gave me fifty cents, and I went to the dime store to buy as much chocolate as I could. But when I got there, I had to choose between the good chocolate for fifty cents, and the not-so-good chocolate, which was a lot cheaper, meaning I could buy a lot more of it if I wanted to. I remember agonizing over that decision.”

Victor laughed to himself, hoping to get a smile out of Kade. But it didn’t come.

“Do you know what I went with?” Victor asked.

Kade thought for a moment. “I bet you got the good chocolate. The more expensive chocolate.”

Victor snapped his fingers. “That’s what I would do now. But back then, all I thought about was extending the life of my fifty cents. I wanted as much chocolate as I could for as long as I could make it last. I bought ten little crappy chocolate bars, and I ate them all at once and got a stomachache.” Victor laughed at the memory.

At this, incredibly, Kade chuckled, too. Victor took a bite of the chocolate bar in his hand and felt it melt across his tongue. Kade’s laughter was somber, almost like sad music.

“I did something like that once,” Kade said, his voice soft.

Victor’s heart rang. He tried not to show how surprised he was. “Did you?”

“It was in Japan,” Kade said. “We were tied up for a few weeks because I was learning Japanese, and my parents wanted me to immerse myself in life there. I started doing a bit of work for a fisherman who lived on a boat a few docks from ours, and he gave me a few coins. I bought as much candy as I could and…” A smile fluttered over Kade’s lips and faded. “Yeah. I couldn’t sleep on the boat that night. I was too sick. My mom had to take me to a little hotel down the road. I thought she was mad, and that made me even sicker. But the following morning, she said she was so well-rested. I think she was getting tired of sleeping on a boat all the time.”

Kade dropped his chin at the memory, but he didn’t break down.

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