Page 61 of Chasing the Horizon

Frank thought for a moment. “It’s highly unusual.”

“So is everything.”

Frank offered a soft smile. “I can’t pretend to know what Dr. Benson would say, nor what she needs. But if you want to reach out to her, if you have something kind to say to her, I see no reason you shouldn’t. She’s been your therapist for many months at this point. I’m guessing you know her pretty well.”

“She’s been instrumental in getting me the help I need,” Victor admitted. “And I can’t stand the idea that she’s off somewhere, beating herself up about this.”

There’s been so much pain, Victor thought, his throat closing up.How can we stop it?

It was later that afternoon that Victor dialed Dr. Benson’s number. He was hovering at the edge of the beach outside his place with Esme, watching as Kade threw a ball around with Rebecca’s son. The orange sunlight behind them made them look like little shadows running around.

Dr. Benson didn’t answer at first. But when Victor wrote her a text to say that he really needed to reach out to her, she called him back right away.

She sounded terribly broken. “Dr. Sutton,” she said. “I’m so sorry.”

Victor took a breath. He imagined that beautiful thirty-two-year-old therapist at the very beginning of her career. He imagined she was wondering if she could really keep going. Maybe she was thinking,Everything in my life has changed. I’m different. I can’t help anyone, not now that I’ve ruined someone’s life.Victor understood because he’d felt the same after Joel had died, and he’d left his family for Bree. But he’d covered up his past and built a career founded on lies. He was on the path to forgiving himself. He hoped, one day, he would be able to.

What he told Hannah now was what he wished he could have told himself all those years ago. “What happened was not your fault. What happened was an accident, a pure act of fate. You’re a good therapist and a kind person. You have a wonderful heart. Wherever you go and whatever you do next, I want you to remember that about yourself. I want you to remember that you can still do so much good in this world. If you stop, you’re not only failing yourself. You’re failing all your present and future patients. You’re failing the time you have left.”

Time is all we have, Victor thought as tears streamed down his cheeks.

Chapter Twenty-Five

June 2025

Nine days after the car accident, Valerie Sutton Garland opened her eyes again. Nine days, which, for her family members, had been no less than an infinite number of them. Days of worry. Days of fear. Days of reckoning with the idea that she might never get up.

But Valerie opened her eyes to a glossy hospital bedroom and a beautiful and panic-stricken husband sleeping fitfully in the chair beside her. She opened her eyes to find that—incredibly—she was no longer pregnant. She gasped, her hands flinching as she tried to touch her stomach. There was a tube in her mouth, which meant that when she started to cry out and ask where her baby was, she couldn’t form any words.Where is my baby?she cried on the inside as tears fell down her cheeks.Where is he?

A part of her knew, even then, that she’d been able to wake up because her body knew it was needed. Her son was out here. Her son was waiting for her.

Valerie couldn’t remember what had happened to her, not at first and not even after Alex explained the car accident and coma. How was it possible that such a pivotal event hadn’t been stitched into her memories? He held both her hands and kissed her face and explained, “Our baby is fine. He’s with your parents. He’s gorgeous, Valerie, and everything is going to be all right. I love you. I love you.” The kisses kept coming. Valerie’s ears rang.

It all felt so unreal.

Valerie ached with thoughts of how unfair it all was. All her life she’d wanted to be a mother, to bring a baby into the world. She’d brought a baby into the world, sure. But she hadn’t really been there to witness it. She hadn’t been the first to kiss his ten fingers and ten toes.

When she said this to Alex—much later, long after she’d gotten well—Alex shrugged and said, “Guess we’ll have to do it all over again!”

And they would. They had to.

They had so much love to give.

But now was now, and Valerie had to heal.

Three days later, Valerie was out of the hospital. Still weak from the accident and terribly tender, she was in a wheelchair, sitting in the sunlight outside her parents’ place with her baby in her arms. She was obsessed with looking at him, gazing at his perfect eyelashes and his round face, the lips that looked like Alex’s, the eyes that were straight from Victor Sutton himself. A large part of Valerie knew that people hadn’t thought she would survive the crash, so it was no small miracle that she was able to raise her baby at all.

She would be grateful for the rest of her life.

That morning, she and Alex named him.

They’d named him August Garland.

To Valerie, it was the most beautiful name in the world.

From where she sat in the sunlight with her baby in her arms, Valerie could see almost everyone in the Sutton family, all of whom had gathered for a Sutton barbecue, a “Welcome to the World, August” party and “Welcome Home, Valerie” party. Rod was at the grill, serving up burgers and hot dogs and brats, and Bethany and Rebecca were making the rounds, delivering drinks and taking frequent breaks to dote on Valerie and August.

Bethany told Valerie that their father had reached out to Dr. Hannah Benson to tell her to keep going, forgive herself, and move on.

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