Page 6 of Chasing the Horizon

It was Victor’s job to make pancakes. He liked that.

Bree probably couldn’t imagine Victor as a grandfather—a cozy grandfather with a big laugh and “favorite” recipes. It didn’t suit the man she’d known for years.

People could change, Victor knew. He’d seen it countless times in his practice. But he’d never really seen it within himself.

Valerie and Alex, too, were still there, nursing glasses of hot apple cider and listening to Esme tell a story about their recent road trip from San Francisco to Nantucket.

Of course, Victor and Esme hadn’t quite made it all the way across the continent, not together, anyway. Esme had disappeared, taking off for Wisconsin to visit her long-lost half sister and her cruel ex-stepmother, leaving Victor to pang with loss.

He’d thought the two of them were falling back in love.

He’d been right. But it had been far more complicated than either of them could grasp.

After Esme left, he’d visited his ex-wife Bree, who’d told him she was suffering from multiple sclerosis. A part of him had wondered if he’d made this happen. Did he create this pain?

But Bree didn’t want him back. She’d simply wanted to tell him what was happening. She’d thought, after everything, she owed him that.

Bree had always done the right thing, except for that time he’d asked her to run away with him, away from his three living children and his son’s grave and his grieving wife.

Of course, that hadn’t really been Bree’s fault. Victor had convinced her it was the right thing, that they’d always been meant to be, that theirs was the love story he wanted to build.

Were these things Victor could ever forgive himself for?

Would he ever tire of asking himself that?

After all the kids were tucked away in bed, Alex suggested to Valerie that they sail back home. Victor wouldn’t hear of it.

“You’ll stay along with everyone else. I won’t have you sailing around the island at this late hour,” he said.

Valerie gave him a face that was like,Dad, come on. But it was filled with love, too.

Eventually, Bethany fetched some extra sheets for Valerie and Alex and helped them make up a bed in one of the spare bedrooms. Sometimes Victor couldn’t fathom how big this house was—a house where he’d raised all four of his children. It seemed filled to the brim with new generations. With love.

After the chaos of the end of the party, Esme and Victor sat alone on the back porch, listening to the dramatic October winds and watching the last of the fire’s embers fade. They were bundled under blankets, huddled close together, finishing their hot apple cider. Through the window, they could just barely make out a conversation between Rebecca and Bethany, who were talking about something Rebecca’s daughter had done—a mistake, but one she felt guilty about.

“I don’t want her to beat herself up,” Rebecca said to Bethany. “It can be so hard to be that age.”

Victor reached over to take Esme’s hand. Esme sighed.

“We have a beautiful family,” he told her.

“We do.”

He let the silence fill the space between them before he asked, “What are you thinking about?”

Esme arched her eyebrow. “I’m frightened everything will be ruined.”

Victor’s heart pumped. “What do you mean?”

“Tomorrow’s our first couples therapy session,” she said. “I’m frightened you won’t play along.”

Victor’s anxiety spiked. “I can’t tell you how much…” He slid his tongue across his teeth. “I mean, I can’t tell you how much I want this to work.”

Esme nodded. She was so beautiful in the yellow moonlight.

“Thank you for trying,” she whispered. “It means the world.”

But Victor was apprehensive about couples therapy. There was no way around it. He couldn’t trust anyone. He barely trusted himself. This, he knew, was his problem.

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