Page 2 of Chasing the Horizon

Inside, Valerie filled out a form about her health thus far and waited, her knees jumping. Most of the mothers in the clinic were at least ten years younger than she was, and she pictured their ovaries and uteruses as bright and shining machines, whereas hers, at age forty-two, was a clunker. (She’d read enough online to know that plenty of women had babies of her age all the time, but all that reading had done little to reduce her fears. She was sure she wouldn’t be calm again until she had her baby in her arms, and she knew, too, that having her baby in her arms would bring about another era of fears.)

“I was thinking,” Alex said now.

Valerie yanked her head around to look at him, suddenly panicked. But his eyes were mischievous and eager, meaning he’d just thought of a joke he wanted to share.

“Oh yeah? What about?” Valerie asked.Calm down. Be a good partner to Alex.

“I was thinking we should name the baby after my favorite film director.”

Valerie snorted. “Greta Gerwig?”

“Close,” he said. “Francis Ford Coppola.”

“Francis. That’s sort of nice,” Valerie said, surprised at how genuine she felt about it. “AndThe Godfatheris still one of my favorite movies of all time.”

But Alex shook his head. “No, you’re not quite getting it. I want the name to be Francis Ford Coppola Garland. The whole thing.”

Valerie giggled. “Oh. I see. That’s quite a name for such a little baby.”

“Maybe he or she will enter the world as a film genius,” Alex suggested. “I want him or her to be prepared.”

“I don’t think the name sets you up for greatness,” Valerie said. “I think greatness comes from within.”

“Name one famous person with a lame name,” Alex said.

Valerie thought for a moment, clicked her pen once, twice, then stopped when another pregnant woman glared at her. She was maybe six months along and clearly uncomfortable, adjusting her sweatpants frequently and puffing out her cheeks. Valerie imagined that most things in life irritated her at this point.

Valerie prayed she’d be that far along soon. She prayed she’d be allowed to be so irritated.

“I’m waiting,” Alex teased.

Suddenly, the woman with the glare called out, “Ryan Reynolds. That’s sort of a nothing name, right?”

A few other pregnant women nodded in agreement.

Valerie bit her tongue to keep from laughing. Somehow, they’d brought everyone in the waiting room into their game.

“I don’t know,” Alex said thoughtfully. “Ryan Reynolds has that alliteration going for him. That’s powerful.”

“Kristen Bell,” another pregnant woman, a redhead with a severe bun, said.

The other pregnant women looked at her with surprise, and the redhead shrugged. “I don’t like her.”

“She’s one of us,” another said. “She has a few kids, right?”

“There are plenty of mothers with cool names,” the redhead said. “Just because she’s a mom doesn’t mean I have to like her.”

“Lots of opinions around here.” Alex nodded with encouragement.

The women began to argue about which celebrities had “cool” names and which didn’t. Alex raised his shoulders, and Valerie buried her face in his shoulder. Tears filled her eyes.

It occurred to her that Alex was her partner in all things.

He was her greatest love. And he was funny to boot.

How lucky was she to go through this process with him? How lucky was she to have made yet another baby with him?

A few minutes later, Valerie and Alex were called into the back room for their first ultrasound. Valerie felt exposed and silly, laid back on the white paper as the technician covered her lower stomach with cold goop. Alex looked nervous and jumpy. Before long, he asked the tech which celebrity she thought had a “lame” name.

---