Page 19 of Chasing the Horizon

Not even as an event planner. Not even on a private piece of writing.

She couldn’t wait to tell her baby someday—that she’d been working on that novel with his or her grandfather during her pregnancy. She hoped her baby would know their grandfather as the sort of person who would do anything for them.

“You’re making me eat more than I should,” Victor joked, reaching for a packaged brownie and eyeing the door mischievously. “Esme has us on a diet these days.”

“What? November is not for dieting,” Valerie said. “It’s for hunkering down and getting that nice layer of warm winter fat.”

“That’s what I said! But she’s all about heart health and ‘happy fats,’” Victor said with air quotes.

“Ugh. Must be terrible to have someone care about you and love you so much,” Valerie teased.

Victor cackled, throwing his head back.

Around this time, they reached a part of the book that Valerie knew little to nothing about. In it, Victor was writing about his early experiences working as a family therapist after graduating from medical school, a necessary era for what came next in hiscareer and his family life. “That first year or two did not go well,” Victor said, his eyes shining with the memory.

“What happened?” Valerie crossed her legs underneath her on the chair and then immediately regretted it. Certain things didn’t work anymore now that she was pregnant.

“Let’s see. I was arrogant, but you already know that.”

Valerie chuckled.

“I wanted to use everything I’d learned in the textbook. Everything I’d learned from a scientific perspective. But there are so many things you can’t science yourself through,” Victor said, dropping his chin. “I found myself ill-equipped and lacking in the empathy required. All my life, I’d thought I was empathetic, but it turns out, I just always thought I was the smartest guy in the room. News flash, I was never the smartest or the kindest guy in the room. Maybe I was one of the dumbest.”

Valerie’s heart opened. She’d never heard her father talk about himself like this.

She felt she was meeting a new version of him. Or maybe it was someone he’d hidden behind this hard exterior all along.

But Victor’s honesty broke new ground for them. Soon enough, Valerie started telling her father how fearful she was about being a new mother and how terrified she felt each time she walked through the doctor’s office doors. “I’m so sure they’re going to tell me something I don’t want to hear,” Valerie said softly. “It almost makes me want to hide myself away.”

Victor nodded. His eyes echoed that empathy he’d been talking about—an empathy he’d had to figure out how to grow.

Had that empathy died out briefly after Joel died?

Valerie dismissed that thought. Maybe he’d acknowledge it later when he felt the time was right.

It was an hour or so later and just after five when Alex called Valerie with news. “Can you meet me?”

Valerie was still in her father’s office, her phone pressed against her ear, considering eating another fudge brownie. “Meet you? At home? I was going to get out of here soon.” She paused. “Should I pick up dinner? What do you think?”

“No, not at home,” Alex said. Something shivery about his voice gave Valerie pause.

Her first thought was about the baby. But the baby was in her. Alex didn’t know something she didn’t know. She swallowed.

“Where are you?” Valerie asked.

“I’ll send you the address,” Alex said. “It’s about ten minutes from your parents’ place.”

“Everything in Nantucket is about ten minutes from my parents’ place,” she said. “Okay. I’ll be there soon.”

“Make sure to bundle up,” Alex said.

Valerie rolled her eyes into a smile. “I always do.”

Her mother and father doted on her before she left.

“He didn’t say what was going on?” Esme asked, throwing a scarf around Valerie’s neck and wrapping it around and around.

“No. But I’m sure it’s not a big deal,” Valerie said. “Or he’s throwing me some kind of impromptu party. Are you all hiding something from me?”

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