“Any luck getting ahold of Hadley?” my brother asks, sitting back in his desk chair with his lunch container of sushi in one hand and chopsticks in the other.
This morning, I signed a brand-new client, Johnny’s Diner, with a twelve-month advertising contract, and Ben suggested we celebrate. I previously struck up conversation with the owner when I was in there picking up food for Hadley and me a few weeks back, and today it became official. As i’s were dotted and t’s were crossed, it really hit me how much this place was integrated into Hadley’s and my past. But with our future still uncertain, I found myself forcing my smile as I shook the owner’s hand, solidifying the contract.
My coworkers have been bringing in contracts left and right lately, so I’m not stupid to know what this is. He’s trying to take my mind off what’s going on in my life, or shall I say what’s not.
Although I haven’t had much appetite lately, I agreed to lunch in his office. I move my lunch around with my chopsticks and sigh. I set my container down on his desk and rest my elbows on my knees, supporting my head in my hands.
I exhale a breath when the subject of Hadley comes up. Not that it’s far from the forefront of my mind twenty-four seven, especially when sitting in the diner getting the contract signed. All I could think of was getting Hadley’s favorite order to go and surprising her with it.
“I don’t know what else to do, man.” It’s been over a week of silence. After leaving her apartment, I swung by the cellular store and upgraded my phone. Every day I waited for a text or a call from her, but they never came. I tried calling the first few days, but each time it went straight to voicemail. I’ve begun texting a conversation numerous times over the last week with something as simple as “hi” and as significant as “I’m sorry. I miss you.” But she made it clear she needed to figure shit out. I know what I want—it’s her and our daughter, but I need her to figure it out, too, and I don’t want to make the wrong move and push her away permanently. I don’t want to be someone in her life; I want to bethesomeone in her life, who holds her at night, who fixes her problems, who is there when she needs me.
“I wish I had words to give you, but I’m at a loss myself. Lex has been pretty tight-lipped about the situation lately, except for…” He doesn’t need to finish to know that he is referring to Lexi bringing a box of my belongings back to the town house the other night. I guess this is for real. “This is killing me to see you both going through this.”
“I didn’t do anything, though. It’s like no matter what I say, she takes my words and twists them.” I know our issues run deeper than just one misunderstanding. Mistrusting people, men in general, was instilled in her at an early age thanks to her asshole parents. I’m not sure what else I can do to show her that the picture she has in her head is not me—that’s not who I am. I never even got to tell her my true feelings for her. I’ve proven to her that I’m ready, that this is what I want, she is what I want, and one stupid mistake that isn’t even a mistake, just a misunderstanding, and she’s holding it against me at gunpoint.
Hadley Kincaid has captured my heart completely. And when you love someone, you give them the power to break you, to crush your heart into a million pieces, and that’s what it feels like. Every day she ignores my calls, doesn’t answer the door, and refuses to see me is another day that feels like a part of me is missing.
“I think the best and the only thing you can do, Ash, is just to keep giving her time and space, and eventually she’ll come around.”
I choke on my breath. “Time and space?” I scoff and rise from my chair. “Christ, Ben, how much more time and space do I need to give her. We’re approaching her due date. What? Do I need to give her till our daughter turns eighteen and doesn’t know her dad? I don’t want to be a part-time dad or every-other-weekend dad. I want it all—the good, the bad, and the smelly. I don’t want to receive videos of her first steps and first words. I don’t want to miss them—I want to be the one filming them, while Hadley encourages her.”
I pace back and forth with one hand gripping the back of my neck tightly. My nails dig deep into the skin, just to feel something, anything, other than my own rage and hurt.
“I know, I get it.”
He gets it? The fuck?
I face my brother and slam my hands on the back of the chair I was sitting on. “Do you? Says the man I had to hear fucking his fiancée in the shower this morning.”
He doesn’t take his eyes off me, but a wave of sadness washes over him. “Okay, maybe I don’t get it.”
I give him my bestYou think?expression.
“But I’m here for you in whatever capacity you need.” He rises from his chair and walks around the desk. “I mean, part of me feels responsible.” Now there’s some irony. I had a hand in the blowup of his relationship with Lex; now he feels responsible for mine. “It was my bachelor party that started this.” I’m just about to tell him he’s in no way responsible, that these issues I thought we had gotten through had only just been covered up with our newfound feelings instead of being dealt with completely, when the door flings open abruptly.
“For fuck’s sake,” Lexi yells. We quickly turn to see her standing in the doorway with her chest heaving. “You two are the most stubborn people on the fucking planet.” She enters the office with her hands on her hips in her black dress and heels. She looks like a woman who means business, and it’s a little terrifying and intimidating when you throw in her current attitude.
Ben arches a brow at her, and I bite back a laugh when she notices and points a dainty finger in his direction. “Watch it, Harrington,” she bites out.
She turns her attention back to me. “You and Hadley both need to get your heads out of your asses and tell each other how you really feel. It’s clear that neither of you is over each other.”
She steps up closer to us, but the tension in her shoulders doesn’t lessen. “You’re about to bring a child into this world, and my niece deserves to be raised by both parents. Both parents who love the shit out of her and each other.”
Her voice catches, but she quickly composes herself. “I know you both didn’t have the perfect childhood, but this is your chance to give that little girl everything you both dreamed of. Now here’s what I want you to do.” Her voice grows stern. “You’re going to get up off your ass, go to the salon, and do not leave until she takes you back. I don’t care if you have to sit there and wait till her last appointment. Got it?”
I nod as I process her explosion.
“Good. Then what the fuck are you still doing here? Go!” she shouts and waves her hand toward the door.
Ben and I rise simultaneously, and he walks over to Lexi, wrapping an arm around her waist, tucking her into his side.
“Damn, your woman is a spitfire,” I laugh as I walk toward the door, finally taking her advice before she kicks my ass right out the door.
“Hell yeah, she is,” I hear him say.
I glance over my shoulder one last time at my brother. Lexi may have been right that I hadn’t had the perfect childhood. My childhood was ripped away, and I was raised by my older brother, who was trying to build a life for himself. I was like the ball and chain to him, keeping him from living his life, but all in all, Ben did a damn good job, and he didn’t get nearly enough credit.
I watch as he looks at his fiancée with admiration and love, and I want that. It’s time that I fight for what I want, and what I want is Hadley Kincaid.