Page 22 of Keeping Promises

What the hell was that?I stare at the elevator doors even after it descends. I’ve been in such a trance since the first moment I laid eyes on the small image on the screen and heard my child’s heartbeat that I must have missed the moment when things went from just about perfect with her hand linked with mine to the cold shoulder resembling the night we met.

I don’t know which knocked me off my feet more—the hand holding and the way hers felt in mine, reminding me of everything that got us to this moment or the moment in general. It’s one thing to say that you’re having a baby, but to physically see it, hear its little heartbeat. Holy shit! Nothing prepares you for that moment—it’s surreal.

I exhale a breath and lift my hand to run through my hair when I remember the appointment card I’m still holding. I need to make sure to mark that on my work calendar so I don’t miss it. You better believe I won’t miss any of these, nor be late again. The shock on Hadley’s face when I walked into the room was priceless.

Did she honestly think that I would miss it? I mean, I guess she could believe that since I honestly went back and forth as to whether it was the right thing to do, and ultimately, I decided this morning when I was in the coffee shop standing in line behind a father and son. The father was holding this little boy in his arms, and the little boy’s eyes were trained on me. His expression was serious, and there was something in me deep down that made me stick my tongue out at him, and he smiled at me and did it back.

I watched them interact while I waited for my order, and I tried to think ahead to me with my kid one day, and I knew right then and there that I couldn’t just stand by and ignore my child. If I took Hadley up on her offer, I would have to stand by and watch from afar or, well, close up but far enough that I couldn’t hold my child as that father did.

As soon as I arrived at the office, I went straight to Ben’s office to tell him of my decision. He gave me the afternoon off, and I thought I left the office with enough time, but nope, time wasnot on my side today.But I showed up, and the first step to anything is showing up.

I wonder if at the next appointment we will get to see the baby again. I flip the card over and see the phone number the girl behind the counter wrote down. I glance down at it, turning it over to show the nurse’s name and number—Jill.

Then it clicks—is that why Hadley was upset with me? If she would have stuck around instead of running off like a bat out of hell, then maybe she would have seen me tell Jill thanks but no thanks. Not only was it unprofessional but extremely inappropriate to say what she said in front of my baby mama.

I’d be lying if the noise Hadley made when she said that we weren’t together stung. Is the thought of being with me so horrible to her? She’ll fuck me and have my baby, but it’s like the idea of being with me repulses her.Is that even something that I want? Do I want her towantto be with me? I wouldn’t even know how to be a boyfriend.This is all confusing the hell out of me. Why does her reaction even bother me that much?

Yeah, I’m officially single, but I decided to make this work with Hadley. I’m willing to do whatever it takes for this child. I want to be the man my father showed me how to be, and then after his passing, the man that Ben stepped up to be where he didn’t have to.

I pull my phone from my pocket and mark the appointment in my calendar before crumpling up the card and tossing it in the trash can.

I notice the time and see that it’s almost 3:30. Ben had given me the afternoon off work for this, but I think I need to focus on something else and give Hadley the space she clearly needs to process all of this before I try to talk to her. Today has been a lot of information to process all at once—I just wish that she wasn’t so closed off with me. Wasn’t that the whole point of this so that she wouldn’t have to be alone and that we would go through this together?

I order an Uber and decide to head back to the office instead of heading home to mull over my thoughts. At least this way, I could be productive.

Traffic from earlier finally cleared, but it’s still congested in the city, so I arrive at Maritime after four. After everything went down with Dominic Jennings last year, I decided it was time to grow up and get my shit together—or at least start to get my shit together. My brother was kind enough to offer me a job as a sales executive. There’s base pay, but the majority of my paycheck is based on my commissions. It’s an excellent way to get me to work hard and fill my bank account.

I’m grateful that Ben took a chance on me. He said I had a great salesman personality—a people pleaser, I believe were his words. He doesn’t treat me any differently. When we’re in the office, he treats me the same as he does any of his employees—well, not including Lexi. I don’t have a corner office or anything, but I have a nice cubicle, and it’s a job, so I can’t really complain.

People have already begun leaving as I step off the elevator. I wave to a few folks as I pass by.

I can’t wipe the smile from my face that has been plastered on it since I listened to the recording of the baby’s heartbeat I made during the appointment on repeat during the Uber ride. I’m pretty sure my driver could tell me the beats per minute by the time he dropped me off in front of the building.

As I approach my brother’s office, I hear soft giggling that I know belongs to Lexi. It’s a wonder they never get sick of each other—they live togetherandwork together.

I stand in the doorway with my shoulder propped up against the frame. I watch my brother sit in the chair behind his desk and his fiancée sitting in front of him, her legs crossed and her head thrown back in laughter.

“I’m not interrupting anything, am I,” I tease.

Lexi startles, jumping up off the desk, and runs her hands over her skirt.

My brother’s laughter fills the open space. “As a matter of fact, yes, you were. What are you doing here? I thought I gave you the afternoon off.”

“You did; I just thought I would come in anyway. Not like I had anything better to do.” I enter the office and take a seat in one of the chairs across from the desk.

A look of shock crosses Lexi’s face as she brings her hand to her chest. “Never thought I’d see the day when Asher Harrington preferred to be at work.” A playful smile appears on her lips. “What is the world coming to,” she dramatically asks in her best Southern drawl and pretends to pass out, landing in Ben’s lap.

He laughs, pressing a tender kiss to the top of her head.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, sis. Guess you don’t want to see the sonogram photos, then, huh?”

Her demeanor instantly changes, and she runs over in front of me. “Gimme, gimme, gimme! I can’t believe Hadley didn’t send them to me already.” She pauses. “Wait.” She looks around. “My phone must be in my office. Shit!” She holds her hand out, and I reach into my pocket and retrieve the handful of images.

Before they’re even entirely out of my pocket, Lexi has snatched them and returned to Ben’s side. The smile on her face is infectious, and I can’t help but smile as well. The nerves start to get the best of me, though—yup, this is super real now—and I grip the back of my neck, massaging my fingers deep into the tissue, completely blocking out whatever Lexi is saying.

What the fuck do I know about being a dad? I can barely take care of myself, and I live with my brother and his fiancée—how does a baby fit into that?

“Asher, did you hear me?” my brother asks, and I jerk my head up.

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