“Yes,” she says just above a whisper.
“Is it mine?”
Her expression quickly changes from shock to anger, similar to that of a mama bear protecting her young.
“It doesn’t matter.”
I slap the wall, and Hadley jumps back. “Of course it fucking matters. Hadley, is that baby mine?”
Tears stream down her cheeks, staining her porcelain skin with black streaks from her makeup. “Yes, it’s yours. Are you happy now?”
I laugh sarcastically. “Am I happy? What the fuck kind of question is that?” I pace back and forth frantically. “How did this happen?” I ask rhetorically. “What the fuck!”
My breathing becomes erratic, and the room spins as spots dance in my vision. I start to lose my balance when soft hands grip my arms.
“Hey, woah.” Hadley joins me by my side. She escorts me to the couch, where I rest with my head in my hands.
“Here.” She returns moments later with a glass of water.
“Thank you.” I accept the glass and take a large swig, wishing it were something more potent. Would that be rude to ask for alcohol?
Hadley’s citrus scent envelops my senses as she takes a seat across from me on the coffee table.
My eyes meet hers. “How are you so calm right now?”
“That’s a complicated question, honestly. I might look okay on the outside, but I’ve been a mess on the inside. But I guess I’ve had time to process it. If you saw me the day I took the tests, now, that was…” She looks down at the floor and fidgets with her necklace, moving the “H” dangling from the chain side to side. She must realize she’s doing it because she quickly stops and places her hands in her lap.
“That was, what… when was that exactly?” My jaw tightens, and I’m grinding my molars so hard, I think I might be making an emergency dentist appointment.
Hadley twists her fingers nervously, and I place my hand over hers to stop her. “How long have you known?”
“I found out the morning we all went out to Unwined.”
“Jesus, fuck! Hadley, that was a few weeks ago. You’ve known all this time and didn’t tell me? Were you ever going to tell me? Does everyone know? Fuck!” I stand and grip the ends of my hair, tugging so hard I wonder if I might be the next spokesperson for Rogaine at twenty-six. This is all just too much. I pace back and forth, clenching and unclenching my fists as if that would help calm me at all.
“I tried to tell you once—that night, actually.” Really? She was going to tell me at a bar? Hey, here’s a thought—maybe call me up the moment you find out instead of waiting to try it at a crowded bar.
I throw my hands in the air. “Oh, well, once.” I sarcastically laugh. “Oh my God, would you like a prize? Maybe a gold star?”
“Look, Asher, it doesn’t matter. You don’t have anything to worry about.”
Woah, the fuck. What is she saying exactly?“What the fuck does that mean? Are you getting an—” I can’t even bring myself to say the word.
Her eyes nearly pop out of her head. “No.” Her hands protectively go to her stomach again. Does she realize she does that? “I’m keeping this baby. I just mean, I don’t expect anything from you. I’m prepared to do this on my own.”
“What are you planning to tell our child when they ask about their dad, huh?”
“I don’t know. I’ll come up with something, but I won’t force this life on you.”
“So, what, you’re just expecting me to watch you with my kid and do nothing—is that it? Do you think that little of me? We need to talk about this. We should’ve been talking about this from the moment you found out.”
“Asher, I need you to calm down, okay?” She reaches for me, but I yank out of her embrace, needing space between us. I walk to the other side of the room. “Look, it’s not just about me anymore. I was terrified as to how you would react to the news. A child doesn’t exactly fit into your lifestyle. I don’t expect you to change, nor would I ever ask you. So, I’ve spent weeks thinking about it, and I think it’s just for the best that I let you off the hook.”
“Let me off the hook.” My anger is coming off me in waves, and I know that if I don’t calm down and lower my voice, her neighbors might end up calling the cops. I would never hit a woman, but right now, she’s pushing my buttons to the point where I don’t know if I want to slap her or kiss her because she’s having my baby. “This isn’t some school assignment that I don’t have to do. This is my kid. You know what, fuck you!”
She scoffs.There’s my little spitfire.She places her hands on her hips defensively. “Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt. Remember, that’s how we got into this situation.”
“No, Hadley. Fuck you for not believing in me. For not trusting me with this.” I need to get out of here before I smash something. If I was a cartoon, I think my anger would have already shot me through the ceiling into outer space.
I end the conversation and abruptly walk out, slamming the door in my wake. Thankfully, Hadley doesn’t follow me. While I wait for the elevator, I realize Hadley wasn’t wrong, and I just proved her right.
Once safely in the elevator behind closed doors, I bang my head against the wall with a loud thud and close my eyes, emotion threatening to suffocate me in this small space. I try to even out my breathing but fail miserably. My heart drops further into the pit of my stomach with each descending floor.
Fuck, I’m going to be a dad.