Page 74 of The Love Dose
Calvin
I’ve never been so nervous in all my life. That includes taking the medical entrance exams, the boards, and traveling between African cities in a six-seater plane that looked patched together with duct tape.
Standing before the judge who has the power to make me a dad is humbling.
Until now, it’s been several minutes of watching him read my paperwork and confirming the information is correct. He’s a kindly looking gentleman in his early sixties and I imagine this is one of his more enjoyable roles on the bench.
He looks up from the documents, catching my eye. “Adoption granted.”
Those two simple words make my eyes tear up, so much so that the courtroom turns blurry. Chacha jumps into my arms and the judge laughs heartily.
“Congratulations,” he says, as I revel in the slobbery kisses my son is planting on my cheeks.
The judge offers to be in a photo with the two of us and we comply, smiling broadly as my attorney takes the shot.
I had heard the proceedings would be anti-climactic but I know I’ll remember this moment for the rest of my days.
“Let’s celebrate.”
We turn toward the benches in the back of the courtroom and I come to an abrupt halt.
Seated in the last row is Caroline. She looks resplendent, almost as if the weight of the world has been lifted off her shoulders. Everything about her seems lighter and I can only wonder why.
“Can I get a photo as well?” she asks.
I’m speechless.
I watch as she stands, approaching us. “Congratulations,” she says, smiling broadly at Chacha. “You got the best daddy in the world.”
I don’t know what to say but Chacha does. “I know. Wanna come get ice cream with us?”
“If it’s okay with your dad.”
Chacha looks up at me questioningly.
Caroline came to my adoption hearing, witnessed one of the most important milestones of my life. I have no idea what she’s doing here. I haven’t seen or heard from her in months. But the butterflies in my stomach remind me that my feelings haven’t faded. I love her still.
“Daddy?”
Now Caroline is studying me, the smile beginning to falter. I don’t ever want to be the cause of that again. Whatever she’s here for, I’m grateful for it. “Of course it is.”
Chacha cheers and as naturally as only a child can do, he takes hold of Caroline’s hand. The three of us walk out into the sunshine together.
We’re backat my place and I’m glad I thought to clean up before leaving for court. Chacha is in a sugar coma, snoring softly on the couch.
After leaving the courthouse, we went for ice cream, all our attention focused on my son. Caroline seemed at ease, joking and laughing. Chacha was as enamored with her as I was. Now that he’s asleep, it’s just Caroline and me.
I feel like a teenager on a first date with the prettiest girl in school. I swipe at my damp brow. “How’s Rezy?” I ask.
“Great . . . he misses you.”
I hope he’s not the only one. If I were a betting man, I'd have wagered Caroline would never set foot in my place again. But then she surprised me in the courtroom. I would've lost big—and been perfectly fine with it.
Chacha stirs and I gesture to the balcony. Careful to let my son sleep, Caroline and I tiptoe outside, leaving the door ajar.
It’s one of those rare but perfect Manhattan spring days, the air unusually fresh, the sun warming our faces. Trees outside my building are blooming pink, birds chirping happily in their nests. It feels like we’re in a Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan rom-com.
Caroline leans against the metal railing, gazing eastward toward the park, now lush and green.
