Page 71 of The Love Dose
O.M.G. It smells amazing in here,” Sam says, setting her briefcase on the stool next to the kitchen island. She’s risking getting flour all over it.
“Making blueberry muffins,” I say, mixing the batter.
She points at something on my face and I use my tongue to lick away the bit of filling.
Sam sticks her finger in bowl, scraping the sides and polishes off the remnants. “Yum,” she moans.
Rezy materializes, waiting for an offering. He’s brandishing a new haircut, doing a doggie strut. I’m fairly sure he knows how gorgeous he is. I toss him a blueberry which he gobbles and then spits out. Lovely.
“You look different,” Sam says and I smile in response.
Ifeeldifferent. I’m healthier, happier, lighter. My decision to take the settlement offer was, in retrospect, the right one. Only one thing is missing.
I’m slowly coming to accept my future is without Calvin. The pain is still there but I’m strong enough to manage it. Even if I think of him every day. Ten times a day.
I hope he’s juggling parenthood and work well enough. I spotted him once on the opposite side of Seventy-Second Street when I was walking Rezy. Calvin was holding Chacha’s hand, heading to the park. I stood frozen in place, watching them skipping side-by-side. All I wanted to do was run over there and join them. But my legs wouldn’t move.
I remove the first batch of muffins from the oven, letting them cool. Then Sam and I get to work on the fundraiser. Her ideas are terrific and I tell her to go forward with all of them. It’s going to be the most epic gala to date. I make a mental note to rummage through my closet for an appropriate dress. Sam, of course, would laugh in my face. She's seen my closets filled with glamorous gowns, the tags still on them. But I’ve been thinking about downsizing and donating many of the dresses. Okay, maybe selling them on consignment. I need to build up a nest egg. I give myself a mental pat on the back for being budget-minded.
An hour later, Sam is packing up her things. Rezy is lounging lazily on the window seat, fascinated by pigeons perched on the budding tree outside.
“See you at yoga in the morning?” Sam asks, buttoning up her pea coat.
I say I’ll be there, pack up three muffins and hand them over for Sam and her kids. “Wish me luck in court.”
“Fingers crossed.”
Given the substantial amounts in question, my lawyer, Howard, instructed me to show up in court to sign a no-contest in front of the judge. I don’t want any surprises, like Josh deciding he now also wants the apartment.
Sam rounds the island and hugs me. “I’m so incredibly proud of you.”
“For what?”
“Rolling with the punches and coming out better than before.”
I hug her back. These last few months have brought us closer. I still miss Evie terribly but Sam is filling some of the hole in my heart.
Minutes after she leaves, my phone buzzes with a message from Paul.
I type back,I’ll be down in thirty.
I shower quickly, and dress in a conservative Gucci business suit, silk white shirt and Manolo heels that shout power woman. I’m going to see my nemeses, dressed to the nines.
The car is idling downstairs and immediately I notice the change in the air. Spring is making a showing. I wonder what Sugarbush Falls looks like this time of year.
Paul is on the phone, speaking more animatedly than I’ve ever seen. He must sense my approach and ends the call. I slip into the backseat before he can get the door for me. He’s no spring chicken anymore.
As Paul pulls into traffic, I have a tingling feeling up my arms. I’ve always hated courthouses. They scream dispute and discord. We drive past the Museum of Natural History, heading south when something occurs to me.
Today begins a new chapter in my life and I’m at peace with it. I’m ready to welcome a simpler existence, maybe even ready to embrace middle age. Sort of.
Paul catches my smile in the rearview mirror but stays on brand, remaining silent and steadfast.
We drive by the Museum of Ice Cream and I ponder how one goes about preserving mint chip from the 1800s. We are soonmet with block after block of courthouses. Now that we’re here, I feel none of the anxiety I expected.
“Ready?” Paul asks, stopping in front of the courthouse on Lafayette St. I tell him I am, thank him and step out onto the sidewalk.
Game on.
