Page 5 of Stay Away from Him

“Hey, bud,” she said. “So what’s going on? It’s late.”

“I want to sleep,” Bradley said. “I do. But my body won’t let me calm down.”

“Hmm. Your body, huh?”

Bradley nodded. He and Melissa talked aboutbodiesa lot: what they wanted, how they were feeling, how to trust them, when itwas okay for others to touch them and when it wasn’t. It was all the talk in preschool and kids’ books, and Bradley had picked up on it as a way to get what he wanted, claiming that his body wanted ice cream instead of broccoli or, as he was now, that his body didn’t like bedtime.

“Yeah. My body won’t let me calm down.”

At the top of the stairs, the door clicked open. Thomas poked his head in, looking timid about intruding.

“Hey,” he said. “Sorry, I hope this is okay. I just thought, maybe I could…?”

Melissa glanced at her son, checking his reaction. He was shy around new people, especially men, for reasons having to do with her ex-husband that she preferred not to think about. But she was surprised now to see that Bradley was responding well to the sight of Thomas, looking at him with curiosity rather than fear.

“Come on down, Thomas,” Melissa said, and his heavy footsteps creaked down the stairs.

“Hey, big guy,” Thomas said, walking toward Bradley and sinking to a knee, getting on the boy’s level with Melissa. “My name is Thomas. I’m a friend of your mom’s. A new friend. What’s your name?”

“Bradley,” he said. “I’m five.”

“Five,” Thomas said, widening his eyes. “Wow. That’s big. Hey, are the grown-ups being too loud up there?”

Bradley nodded. “Yeah,” he said, the trace of a whine in his voice. “I can hear voices. And now my body won’t calm down.”

“Oh, man,” Thomas said. “Bodies will do that sometime. I know exactly what that’s like.”

Something welled up in Melissa, and for a second, she felt like she was about to cry. It had been so long since she’d seen a man be gentle with her son. Her ex-husband wasn’t physically abusive, but he could be cruel with his words. He was, Melissa had come tounderstand, a deeply unhappy man, and when he was upset about something, he wasn’t above yelling at Bradley to make himself feel better. In a situation like the one they were in now, Melissa’s ex would’ve told Bradley to shut the hell up and go the fuck to sleep. Melissa had wanted so badly for him to be a good father, for Bradley tohavea good father, that on some days it was almost a physical ache. Now, seeing a man treat her son in exactly the way he deserved to be treated brought an ache of a different kind.

“Are you maybe a little scared to be downstairs all alone?” Thomas asked.

“A little,” Bradley admitted. “Mom says I’m brave. But it’s hard sometimes, when it’s dark out.”

“Youarebrave,” Thomas said. “I can tell. But even brave guys need help sometimes. What if we put you back to bed, but your mom and I stayed in the next room for a little bit, until you got to sleep? Would that help?”

Bradley made an exaggerated nod, his eyes huge, his soft, round face so open and vulnerable that Melissa felt the urge to freeze the moment in amber, to remember him forever as he was just then.

“Where’s your bed?” Thomas asked.

“Down the hall,” Bradley said. “It’s a race car.”

“A race car!” Thomas said, exaggerating his voice in that way people do with kids, but not so much that Bradley would think he was being made fun of. “That’s cool! Can you show me?”

Bradley marched down the hall proudly, with Thomas and Melissa following.

Bradley’s room was dark but for a little lamp on the bedside table that cast spots of colored light in the shape of stars and moons and spaceships across the walls and ceiling. Up against the wall was the race car bed, a gift Melissa couldn’t afford but bought Bradley anyway, to ease the transition to a new bedroom, a new city, a new life. Thomas lingered by the door while Melissa and Bradley walkedin. The boy jumped up onto the bed and pulled the covers up to his chin. Melissa sat on the edge of the bed to smooth down the blankets around her son’s body, then gave him a kiss on the forehead.

“Sleep now, okay?”

“You’ll stay down here? You’re not going back upstairs?”

Melissa nodded. “Just down the hall. You’re safe here. Okay?”

“Okay. Good night, Mama. Good night, Thomas.”

Melissa almost laughed with surprise at her son’s saying good night to Thomas—a man he’d met only minutes ago. She glanced back, where Thomas stood with his shoulder against the doorframe. He smiled.

“Good night, buddy.”

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