Page 19 of Stay Away from Him

Eventually I just came out with it.

“I think Thomas might be cheating on me.” I didn’t mention her, didn’t make any accusations. I just said it and waited for her reaction. Maybe I was testing her.

Oddly, she seemed to get calm then. Her fidgeting fingers stilled, and her eyes rose to meet mine. She gave no sign of being perturbed. Only blinked, cocked her head with a disinterested look, and asked, “What makes you say that?”

I realized then that I’d made a mistake, given Amelia the upper hand. I’d allowed her to transform into her therapist self, the way she’s most comfortable: treating others as specimens to be studied. Now I was the one caught off guard. I couldn’t say anything about her, about the fact that she’s Thomas’s ex-girlfriend and that sometimes I catch them banging each other with their eyes. So I made something up.

“Oh, I don’t know,” I said. “He seems…distracted. We haven’t really been having sex—my fault, mostly, since I’m never in the mood, but I imagine it makes him frustrated. Unsatisfied.”

“And you think he’s found someone else to meet those needs,” Amelia offered.

“Might be cheating. I said might.”

“Have you considered talking to him about it?”

I scoffed. “What, asking him if he’s cheating? He’d just deny it.”

“I was thinking talking to him about the lack of intimacy you’re telling me about.”

I cringed just thinking about it. “I couldn’t.”

Amelia was quiet for a bit, thinking. “And the thought of him cheating. What does that do to you?”

“It’s torture.” I looked her square in the eye. Challenging her to see me, to understand what I was really saying.You’re hurting me. Please stop. Please stay away from my family. Please let him—let me—go.

“If the thought hurts you so much,” Amelia said, “maybe there’s something else you should be thinking about. Something else you should be asking yourself.”

“And what’s that?” I asked.

“Is your husband the kind of man who would do that?”

***

I thought about it for a long time after she left. Thought about what Amelia was really trying to say to me with the question.

Because Thomas isn’t the kind of man who would cheat on me.

Not because he loves me, not because he only has eyes for me, not because I’m as beautiful, as sexy, as the day we first met. Not even because he’s faithful, dependable, or good.

No, Thomas wouldn’t cheat on me because he’s too attached to the idea of himself as a good man. Because he’s built up this image of himself—in our family, in the community, in his own mind—as the perfect man. A protector ofchildren. A supportive friend and neighbor. A good husband. A great dad.

And cheating on your wife—well, that’s something that bad men do. Not men like him.

But what keeps chilling me, what I keep coming back to, is the way Amelia glared at me when she asked it—Is your husband the kind of man who would do that?Her eyes an accusation.

She knows.

Thomas isn’t that kind of person. But I am.

I’m the one who cheats.

Chapter 5

Bradley started crying when Melissa pulled her car into Thomas’s driveway.

“Are you going to leave me here?” he blubbered from the back seat.

Melissa’s heart crumpled in her chest, and she felt herself regretting the decision to go on a date with Thomas so quickly. What was she thinking? Thomas was so convincing with his charm, his persistent texts, his refusal to take no for an answer. His obvious interest in Melissa had prevented her from thinking clearly, but now, sitting in her car outside a near-stranger’s house with a scared and crying five-year-old in the back seat, she finally saw the absurdity of Thomas’s plan.

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