Page 1 of We Could Be Better

Chapter One

KYRA

8 years earlier

“Bitch if you leave out that door don’t fucking come back here.”

“You ain’t gotta worry about me coming back. You’ve done nothing for me since I can remember so don’t think I fucking need you.”

I had never talked to my mother like that even though she did nothing but curse us. I still respected her but today was different and I was so tired of her shit. I had went through so much with this lady since the day I was born; I didn’t know where I would be without my sister.

“You think you grown because what went out there and did. But that don’t make you grown, it makes you stupid just like these other bitches in this hood.” She screamed and slapped me in my face; I decided arguing back wasn’t the best thing so I left and made my mind up that day to never look back.

“You little stupid bitch” she continued screaming She didn’t have to worry about that I was sick of her fucking shit; she was always too drunk to fucking raise me or my sister and my dad worked out of town. The day Dreka called and said she found us an apartment about 2 hours away I quickly grabbed my shit and left town telling no one. I knew I was going to misseveryone especially Cash; he had always been my everything but only my diary knew.

My mother had a bad problem and let the street take over her mentally and physically. We got all her hurt and anger once she got home though she was trying to fight this demon that she couldn’t get off her back. She just pushed her daughters away and all we ever did was try to help.

But my mother being that way she was wasn’t my only reason for leaving. I also had a few things I was trying to fight off me like the fact that I was madly in love with someone that refused to even look my way and I was carrying his child. But I saved up enough money and was going to the abortion clinic before leaving town.

“You sure you want to do this?” Dreka asked as we pulled up to the clinic.

“I have no other choice;” I got out the car walking towards the door and began wondering if I was making the worst mistake of my life. I was young though and was pregnant for a man that only used me when he was ready to have sex or if he would see me with someone else. I had no other choice, so I walked through those doors with my head held high and waited until they called my name.

“Kyra.” I walked to the back with the nurse and did everything as instructed I took my clothes off and laid on the cold table. I had tears rolling down my face but I knew I was going to walk out there different then when I walked in and Cash and all his problems would all be a part of my past.

Chapter Two

kyra

If I could, could forget him I would. Please believe me and I know that I should throw the towel in, but baby its not that easy. You treat me so much than him and if I was sane there would be no competition, but im in love with someone else. Im so sorry hey, hey im in love with another man

I was lying in my bed listening to Jasmine Sullivan in love with another man over and over again. Lately, this had been my life and this song described it exactly the way it was. Here I was 25 and married to the suppose to be love of my life, well I thought he was until I saw Cash and after being away for damn near 8 years he still looked the same everything about him was the same. I damn near fainted when I saw him. I was getting ready to approach him until I saw a woman follow behind and caught up to hold his hand. I just shook my head because here we were 8 years later and he still would never completely be mine.

I grew up with Cash in my old neighborhood he lived in the house next to mine. Our relationship was complicated and I just knew he would be who I would spend the rest of my life with, but that quickly changed. He wasn’t ready for a relationship and I had turned down every dude that came my way because I wanted to be with him. Only thing is he would never know my true feelings because I never told him. Every day I would watch a female come and go and then he would come to my house and brag about the trifling bitch that had just gave him head, but like the best friend I was I just would sit there and listen. Thatwas until one night we went to a block party and both ended up drunk and having mind blowing sex. I was 16 and he was 18 he was experienced but I wasn’t he was my first everything.

I thought by us having sex for the first time it would change his feeling about me. I know I wasn’t experienced but I was willing to learn any and everything to be with him. But even after that I would still watch his hoes come and go. I tried hard hiding my feelings for Cash but I couldn’t no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get him out my head. Wanting to be with him had gotten so bad for me that I would watch him fuck other females doing the day and then fuck me doing the night. My feelings started changing though I was getting tired of waiting for him to want me. But every time I would try to move on; he would always find his way back and we would end up in the bed together only to get my feelings hurt the next day. A year later I just packed my shit up and never looked back; I thought Cash would be a blur of the past until I saw him today.

“Why you ran off like that girl?” my husband Keith asked

“Sorry baby I think I got my period. I’m ready to go home”

“Do you need any medicine?” I shook my head and we headed home.

I met Keith while I was in college he took a class together and he asked me on a few dates. At first I would turn him down whenever he would try asking me on a date hoping that one day Cash would come look for me being that I just up and left our old hood without saying bye. But after days turned into months and months turned into years; I finally realized that he wasn’t coming. I decided to go on a date with Keith and we hit it off that very same night. We dated for a year then he asked for meto marry him a few months later we flew to Hawaii and tied the knot, but still even then I had to spot in my heart for Cash. No matter where I went or who I ended up with we always found our way back to each other. Now here I was lying in my room, with my husband arms around me listening to his light snores, with my earphones in my ears thinking about another man.

Days passed since I seen Cash and his girl at the store that day and I couldn’t get him off my mind. I wanted to beat myself up for letting in slip away again, but I had to keep reminding myself that I was married and couldn’t think about another man. I tried keeping busy just to keep my mind off him and on something else, but said fuck it. I was about to try my luck and take a ride through our old neighborhood, it would be nice to visit and see how things were. It was only 2 hours away from where Keith and I stayed so it wasn’t a bad ride. I left Keith a note on the fridge saying that I was going visit my parents; I jumped and my car and pulled out of my circular driveway to play with fire.

Pulling up in my parents driveway was something I dreaded doing. I was never that close with my mother and tried staying away from her being that she hated the ground I walked on and I never knew why. My father has always treated me and my sister like we were queens, but not my mother dunk ass. Bitch would drink you out of a house note if you let her and the day I left to live with Dreka I promised to never return. Our house sat in the heart of the hood and everyone around the way would come sit on our steps from sun up until sun down just laughing, drinking, and smoking.

“I know that aint Kyra too good ass in the hood” I heard someone call. I turned around to see my childhood best friend Onika standing there with her hands on her hips and her blondeweave in her head. I almost broke my ankle running to give her a hug. Onika was the true definition bitch was real life ghetto and didn’t mind cutting you up, but she was always there for me. I could call on her all hours of the night and she was running.

“Oh no bitch don’t hug me I just want to know how the fuck you just up and leave without saying anything.”

“I’m sorry Nik I was going through a lot at the time and just wanted to get away from everything. I miss you girl, how have you been?” I asked her

“Girl shit wasn’t the same with me when you left my ass, but I managed im good and happy to see you.”

“Look take my number and we can meet up. I’m about to go in check on my parents we can link up later.” I assured her and walked off but not before hugging her once again. When I walked in my parents’ house the smell of liquor and piss instantly hit my nose.

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