“Think about it, Maxy. Mate bonds are tricky things. A mate is supposed to make you stronger. What will happen if you claim someone who is so weak?”
That was something I did need to consider. A fated mate was supposed to make each party stronger from the bond.
9
Kylie
Who was this female? Maximus listened to her and paid heed to her words in a way I couldn’t simply ignore. She pointed out all my flaws and insecurities with pinpoint precision. At the top of the list was the fact that I was too weak to be Maximus’s mate.
When I woke from my slumber, I wanted to find Maximus to learn what he wanted me to do for the day, and Amara told me to search for his office. I heard the female talking to him, and I stopped dead in my tracks. It felt wrong to eavesdrop on them, but I couldn’t stop myself. I should have left because her words sliced deep into my soul. How would I become a good luna to the pack if people thought this of me already?
Maximus said nothing after her last comment, either.A mate is supposed to strengthen you. What will happen if you claim someone so frail and helpless?That was the very thing I hopedMaximus wouldn’t think about me. What if he believed this female’s words and chose to reject me?
My lycan perked up and shared my thoughts. The thought of her mate not wanting her caused her to curl into a ball and cover her face with her tail. The kingdom would laugh at us if we were rejected. No one would want the female the king deemed too weak to bond with.
Our life would be over.
As I slinked away from the door, I noticed the female walking toward it, so I headed toward the suite, feeling lost and unsure of what to do next. Should I confront him about this? If I asked him, would he get angry that I listened in on the conversation but didn’t make my presence known?
Maybe I should ask if he wanted to bond with someone like me? It would be a tough conversation, but we should talk things out like adults. Mates were supposed to be the one person you could confide in. There were no secrets between mates. I might not have fully formed the bond, but I still felt it. I could feel his presence there, and I tried to navigate it to let him know I wanted to talk.
Only I encountered a wall.
Maximus knew how to block out the mate bond. The wall felt impenetrable. There wasn’t a way around it, even if I knew how. If he didn’t want me to see into his mind or feelings, then I couldn’t.
Knowing that, a knot formed in my stomach. Why was he blocking me out? It must have been because of that female. Hedidn’t want me to know how he felt about what she said or to hear anything they talked about.
Maybe it was because he agreed with her. That’s why he didn’t want me to know, or why he said nothing before she walked toward the door. Maximus had doubts about bonding with me.
So, how could I change his mind?
Inside our suite, I could smell the minty scent of my mate, which wrapped around me like a hug. I curled up on the couch and waited for him to return. I needed to build the courage to ask him about who the female was and if he wanted to bond with me. I knew the conversation would hurt, but I needed to stand up for myself. Maximus was my mate, and I knew he wouldn’t try to hurt me on purpose. When people put my insecurities on full blast, I tended to shut down. It was a coping mechanism I learned growing up, but it was something I would have to stop doing if I had any hope of talking through these issues.
Maximus was the big bad lycan because he was the king. That didn’t mean he was immune to feelings of doubt about his mate. He wouldn’t be the first person to question the Moon Goddess about their mate, and he wouldn’t be the last. I had doubts about being given an alpha like Maximus because of my weak body and lycan, and those doubts only grew the longer I was around him.
A mate is supposed to strengthen you.That female was right about one thing: I found strength I didn’t know I had in me every time Maximus touched me. I needed to convince Maximus that we needed to complete the bond for me to become stronger.
However, there was a chance that he wouldn’t believe me. I had no way to prove that theory. Even though he was mymate, he couldn’t detect my strength. Nobody else could detect my strength either, so it didn’t surprise me. I was an anomaly among lycans.
Ugh, this all sucked.
Maximus walked through the door, and I lifted my head to see him staring at me. Once my eyes found his dark blue ones, he smiled. My stomach flipped and flopped when I laid my eyes on him. How could I be so lucky? His appearance was like that of a marble carving, a god. I didn’t think I looked like much. If anything, I looked more like a fairy than a lycan. Though I had been called cute a few times because of my height.
“I’m sorry about being away all day. There was a lot to do.” He closed the door behind him, came over to me, and brushed my hair out of my face. I leaned into his hand when he touched me, and a burst of energy flowed through my veins. “Is there anything I can get you? Have you eaten today?” he asked, and my stomach growled, answering him for me. He laughed and pulled out his phone. “Send up our dinner and bring extra for Kylie. Also, can you get us some of that chocolate cake I saw down there?”
Cake? My mouth watered at the word “cake.” My father didn’t allow me to have any sweets growing up, but I could always smell them when I was cleaning. Chocolate had been a flavor I always wanted to try, and here was Maximus ordering it for me. How did he know?
“How was your day?”
“I heard you earlier when you were talking with that female in your office.” The words spilled out of my mouth like a reflex.What the hell was wrong with me? Blurting out things without thinking about how they would come off was not how I wanted this relationship to go.
Maximus swallowed and took a deep breath. Then, as if in shame, he bowed his head. He grabbed onto my hands, channeling the warmth of his touch up my arms and into my chest. Power ignited inside me that I could barely recognize, and it filled me with enough joy to almost forget I was in the middle of a difficult conversation.
His words cut off my thoughts. “I’m sorry you heard that. Nova didn’t know what she was talking about.”
With the fresh energy, I pulled myself into a seated position on the couch but kept my gaze away from his as he looked up at me. “When she walked away, you said nothing to defend me. Obviously, you agreed with her about me not being a good match for you.”
He growled, which made me whimper. I couldn’t stop the words from leaving my mouth, but I really didn’t want to upset him, either. I needed to know if he agreed with what she was saying about me and my place in the pack. If he agreed, he could reject me right now and end my misery. At least I would know where he stood instead of this uncertainty rolling inside me.