Page 25 of This Is Who I Am

“But… how does it make you feel?” She finds my gaze and is brave enough to hold it.

“I would love to explain all of this to you during a proper date.” I’m desperately pushing for a yes because if she says no now, if she ushers me out of her house, I fear I might also be ushered out of her life.

“Of course I’ll go on a date with you,” Cass says. “I can’t say no after that kiss, but… I’m worried it doesn’t mean the same to you as it does to me.”

“Don’t worry about that. Please.” It’s easy enough to say, much harder to do. Eighty percent of my relationships might have been salvageable if there had been less worrying.

Cass smiles gently, then sags deeper into her chair. “I was enjoying my quiet life, dealing with my hot flashes, finding my groove as a single lady, and then you turn up with… all of this.” She briefly arches up her eyebrows. “I should probably stay away from you, but I already can’t resist you.” She scoffs. “You probably have no idea how crazy that sounds tome.” She puts a hand on her chest, just below her clavicle.

“Maybe when you put together two women who consider themselves undatable, you get the opposite.”

“I’d like to see you calculate that in your little notebook.”

I burst into a chuckle. It might not be as hard as the problem my dad set me. I’d make it work somehow.

“I can show you my calculations on our date. I’d like to take you out to thank you for tonight. And last night.”

“Show me with food, that’s more my language.” Cass might be a little confused, but she’s by no means put off—or intimidated.

“Deal. Although it’s a pity I can’t take you to the best restaurant in town.”

“Burgers at The Bay are fine. Maybe you can show off your newfound surfing skills for me first.”

“Oh, god.” I giggle because we’re now firmly past the hurdle our impromptu kiss has thrown up. “Only if you join me.”

“Never,” Cass says. “I prefer to watch.”

On that note, August strolls into the living room and utters an exasperated meow, as though commenting on something very untoward that’s happening.

“He’s hungry,” Cass says. “He’s a very punctual cat.” She pats her lap, but August refuses to jump in. “Very bossy as well.”

“I’ll let you feed your cat.” I push myself out of the couch. I could stay here for a good while longer, but I might end up kissing Cass again—and I don’t think I should. “I’ll see you for burgers at The Bay on…” I crouch down to scratch August behind the ear. “My calendar’s wide open.”

“What day is your surfing lesson?” Cass rises. “I can meet you there.”

I shake my head, unable to suppress a smile. “No. A proper date, we said. I’m not going to turn up in a wetsuit.”

“Why not? From where I was sitting, it looked pretty good on you.”

“So you were watching me?”

“I was curious about your skills. Suzy told me you grew up here and I know that for most people that means they have surfer blood.”

“As soon as I learned to count, I turned into a math nerd.” I push myself up, eliciting another offended meow from August. “If you have any math that needs doing, I’m your girl.” This conversation is getting more irrational by the minute.

“I’ll think about it.” Cass nods at the frame I gave her—it seems like a lifetime ago that I arrived. “Thank you for that. I really appreciate it.”

“Thank you for another amazing meal. It was special, like the person who made it.”

“My pleasure.” She walks toward me, her arm extended as though she wants to put her hand on my back, but she retracts it. “My oh-so confused pleasure, Estelle Raymond.”

I reach for her hand and take it in mine.

“Shall we say Monday?” Cass squeezes my hand softly. “Seven o’clock?”

“I’ll skip surf club. Happily.” Our hands intertwined, Cass walks me to the door.

“We can do lunch instead on Tuesday,” Cass offers.

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