Page 45 of This Is Who I Am

“Hi.” Her shoulders un-hunch. “I’m much better now that you’re here, actually.” She slants forward. “And I’d like to kiss you.”

“That can be arranged.” I fold my arms around her waist again and gently touch my lips to hers. Her face is still wet from crying and she looks a bit of a mess—sheisa bit of a mess—and her vulnerability touches a nerve deep inside me.

“Are you really going to cook for me again?” I whisper when we break from our kiss.

“Maybe I just want to see you eat a burger again.” She has her sense of humor back. She swipes at her cheeks, then says, “As a way of sleepover foreplay.” Oh, she definitely has her sense of humor back. She even throws in a wink.

I let out a loud laugh and it feels so good to stand in Cass’s kitchen and just laugh with her, despite her little episode.

“How come you’re forty-nine and not experiencing any symptoms of perimenopause?” she asks.

“Lucky, I guess.” I’ve wondered about this and maybe I am just lucky or maybe my hormones behave differently—or maybe both.

“Let’s avoid the M-word for the rest of the night, shall we?” Cass says.

“Sure.” August presses himself against my shin. While I crouch down to pet him, I ask, “Who else is coming to brunch?”

“Suzy, Sadie and Devon. The usual suspects, really.”

“Brunch with Sadie Ireland. Do you hear that, Gussie?”

“Meow,” he says.

* * *

“I don’t want to diss the burgers at The Bay,” I say between greedy bites, “but yours is a million times better.”

Cass just looks at me with a big smirk on her face.

“What?” I tease, because I know why she’s looking at me like this. She told me in no uncertain terms.

“How can you eat so messily and still look so utterly gorgeous.”

“It’s my gift, I guess. You prepare the delicious food and I look good while eating it.”

“What I love even more is how you have no qualms owning that you’re beautiful.”

I sense the possibility of a tricky conversation—again—but maybe this is a good time for it. Cass has alluded to her own issues with her body a few times now.

“Ah, beauty,” I say, while licking a drop of sauce off my finger. “It’s really all in the eye of the beholder.”

“Maybe, but, um…” I give her the time she needs to articulate her thought. “Put us next to each other and ask a hundred random people who is the more attractive and ninety-nine of them will pick you.”

I nearly drop my burger. Cass’s body issues might actually be a bit too much for me to handle.

“You couldn’t be more wrong.” I put down my burger. “Do you truly believe that?”

“Yes, but you are exceptionally stunning.”

“But, Cass, so are you.” I want to offer my hand for support, but it’s too dirty.

She scoffs. “Me? Nah, and please do me the courtesy of not trying to convince me otherwise. I have mirrors. I know what I look like.”

“Are you having another mood swing?” I’ve been so busy devouring my delicious burger, I hadn’t noticed she barely touched hers.

“I’m having a bad day full of insecurity.” She shakes her head. “I’m sorry.”

“Because I’m staying over?”

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