Page 39 of This Is Who I Am

A minute for what? ;-)

She texts back, instantaneously this time. Maybe despite being busy, she has missed me, too.

I send back:

Step outside to find out

I wait for her on the deck of the restaurant, my gaze trained on the door. When it opens and Cass emerges, wiping her hands on her apron, my treacherous, hopeful heart skips a beat. Cass always walks with purpose and when that purpose is me, it makes me feel extra special.

“What’s the emergency?” She keeps a respectable distance, as though not wanting to encroach on my personal space.

“This.” I open my arms to her.

A smile breaks on her face. She’s stunning when she smiles like that and my silly little heart hammers a little harder in my chest. Cass walks straight into my embrace and I wrap my arms around her. Her body is warm and she smells of something I can’t decipher—probably a new dish she’s working on with an ingredient I’ve never heard of. Her arms curve around my waist and I nuzzle my nose against the soft skin of her neck.

“I know you’re busy,” I whisper. “But I couldn’t wait until tomorrow evening.”

“I’m glad you came,” she whispers back. “You’re always welcome here.”

I pull back from our embrace so I can look into her dreamy eyes. “I didn’t just come for a hug,” I say.

“What else are you here for?” She sinks her teeth into her bottom lip. “I’m sure Gus would be delighted to see you again. He told me your cheek rubs are out of this world.”

I chuckle as I touch the place where her jaw curves into her neck—that little hollow that feels like it was made for this exact kind of tenderness.

Cass is taller than me, which means I have to reach up when we’re this close. It does something to me—arches my neck and leaves me exposed in a way that feels a bit like surrender.

She seems more than eager to meet me halfway. The space between us tightens, heavy with the kind of tension that only exists right before a kiss.

I kiss her, and instead of racing, my heart slows—like it knows something I haven’t caught up to yet. I kiss her and my crush on her deepens. Her tongue is soft and her lips warm as they meet mine again and again. Each time our lips touch, it’s a little different—more pressure, a shift in angle, something small that makes it better than the last. She pulls me even closer and moans into my mouth again.

Being with Cass makes me feel like everything will be all right. And isn’t that one of the best feelings there is? Maybe safety is the most underrated kind of intimacy.

My hand moves to the small of her back. I smile against her mouth, as if to say how unexpected this is. How, every now and then, the universe manages to get something right.

An adventurous seagull careens right by our heads, pulling us from our divine kiss.

“Now I’m extra glad you came.” Cass says. “I’m sorry I don’t have a lot of time on weekdays, but I promise I’ll be all yours this weekend.”

“Don’t apologize for that.” I tug at her apron. “I love that you’re a chef.” Maybe I shouldn’t have said something silly like ‘food is my sex’, but I can’t unsay it, and it no longer matters because I’m standing here with Cass, the sky behind her as blue as her eyes, the ocean wild and beautiful next to us. “I can’t wait for tomorrow.”

“I can’t wait to see you in my restaurant.” She grins at me. “It looks different with you in it.”

We giggle like lovestruck teenagers. That’s kind of how I feel. Compared to when I arrived in Clearwater Bay a few weeks ago, exhausted and grieving and having no idea what to do with myself, being with Cass makes me feel like I’m on top of the world. Like I can do anything I damn well please. Brand-new energy flows through my muscles and there’s a dizziness in my blood. I might as well admit it to myself. I’m already falling in love with her. Usually, I’d be more careful, but after what I’ve been through, the distraction is very welcome.

“I’ll let you get back to work.” I thread my fingers through hers, not quite ready to let her go back inside. “I wouldn’t want to be the cause of a less-than-perfect carrot on someone’s plate.”

“That would be a disaster.” Cass shuffles her feet, not ready to go yet either, it seems. “Hey, um, tomorrow, after your meal, will you stay a while? Have a post-service drink with me?”

“It would be my pleasure.”

“Great.” Her cheeks pink up. For a second, I fear for another hot flash, but perhaps it’s just infatuation—like what I have burning inside of me. “I look forward to it.”

The door of the restaurant flies open. “Boss,” a young woman shouts. “We need your opinion.”

“I’ll be right there, Kelly.”

“Sorry, Cass. I didn’t know you had company. Take your time.” The woman swiftly closes the door behind her.

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