Page 38 of This Is Who I Am

“I had a hot flash. She was very kind and walked me home. When she came to dinner again next, she stayed for a drink, and I invited her to a private dinner upstairs. Things have kind of spiraled from there.”

“Tell me exactly what you mean by ‘private dinner’ and ‘spiraled.’” Bobby looks at me as though I’m a news anchor delivering the most important news of his life.

I’m still wearing my chef’s hat and it’s suddenly too hot. I pull it off and say, “We might have kissed.” I sink my teeth into my bottom lip, as though wanting to catch whatever taste may—impossibly— still linger. “And then, last night…”

Bobby gasps as if I’m about to announce that we’re getting engaged.

“We went on a date and ended up at her father’s house, where more kissing ensued.”

“Just kissing?” Hunter asks because he’s utterly predictable.

“Yes, just kissing.” Whereas I could tell Suzy about Estelle being ace with no qualms, that’s not a conversation I should have with these two. “And talking, of course. We get along so well. She’s very smart. Apparently, her dad was some sort of mathematical genius.” This doesn’t impress my friends half as much as it did me. But they didn’t sit opposite Estelle sipping fine scotch while looking into her dreamy eyes. “She’s kind and funny and, well, extremely fucking hot.”

“Plot twist, girl,” Hunter says. “I did not see that one coming.” He flashes me a boyish grin and drums his fingertips on the tabletop. “When can your gay besties meet her?”

“It’s a bit early for friends’ introductions,” I murmur. I don’t want to jinx whatever fragile thing we have between us by inviting Estelle to meet my boisterous friends.

“You just want to keep her for yourself a while longer,” Bobby says. “I get it.”

“How about brunch at ours next weekend?” Hunter doesn’t take no for an answer.

“We’ll see, babe. We’ll see,” I say.

“But when I see her in town, I am allowed to introduce myself as your friend?” Bobby asks, as if we’re in high school instead of midlife.

“You can do whatever you want,” I say.

“Is she staying a while or just passing through?” Hunter asks.

“Possibly staying a while. Her father has a lot of stuff that needs going through.”

“How thrilling.” Bobby smiles warmly. “I’m so happy for you, Cass.”

“It’s unexpected, but… yeah, it’s wonderful.” And also very early days.

“Either way, you and I are having drinks next Monday at The Bay while Sadie teaches the middle-aged ladies of Clearwater Bay how to surf,” Hunter says. “Aren’t you thinking of joining now?”

“I will if you do,” I tease.

Hunter is very fit for a man in his mid-forties, but he didn’t grow up near the ocean and, to his son’s disappointment—and despite several attempts—he’s never taken to surfing.

“It’s ladies only,” Hunter says, as if that’s the only thing stopping him.

“I’m sure Sadie would make an exception for her wife’s baby daddy,” I say.

“Let’s share a bottle of chardonnay instead.” Hunter winks at me.

“Make it sauvignon and I’m there.”

CHAPTER20

ESTELLE

When I walk along the beach, my gaze keeps being pulled to the building on the edge of the cliff. To Savor. It’s Thursday afternoon and Cass and I have texted back and forth a bit, mostly to confirm my standing booking on Friday evening, but I can tell from the brevity and timing of her texts that she’s busy, which makes perfect sense for someone running a restaurant. I’ve only tasted the output of her efforts, but Cass must put in a lot of energy, time, and skill to produce dishes like that.

Still, as though it’s the only place they want to go, my feet carry me toward Savor. I want to see Cass. In private as opposed to walking into a full restaurant tomorrow, with her hidden away in the kitchen.

I text her as I approach, asking if she has a minute.

---