Page 91 of When the Moon Met the Sun

Just as it would burden me, too.

That, and more.

Before I could even process where we were, Rayven severed the tether between us and materialized before a portion of the Valwain I recognized as Byn, Chess, Laurence, and Eden.

I remained in the shadows, though I noticed Byn and Laurence looking around for me. Rayven gave Byn a speedy report with vague details, just providing the main points. From far away, I heard Byn say that Teagan was at camp with Margo, and Quinn was with her soldiers, having taken up her place in the front lines after Rayven and I departed. He also mentioned that Quinn should be reporting to him soon, so they could go over body count, wounded, and discuss taking Ezra home.

The debriefing between the two took less than a minute, and then Rayven leaned into Byn’s ear and murmured something I couldn’t quite catch.

Byn began to scan the shadows, presumably for me.

Byn nodded to Rayven, the two males clasping forearms, then Rayven peeled away from the group, heading towards the Islanders.

“Aviva?” Byn called out softly, looking around once again.

I could almostfeelhim tugging on our connection, on the bond between us, and then his eyes snapped to the shadow of the tree where I was. How, exactly, he knew, I was unsure.

Byn looked to Chess and Laurence and asked if they could wait nearby, and they nodded before slipping away, farther into the trees, with Eden in tow.

He then came and sat right next to where he knew I was, loosening a breath.

“My love, you can come out now. It’s just us.” He paused. “We both know you can’t hide from this. I can feel it, you know. The panic, the guilt. It’s eating you alive. Please, come here.”

Hearing him speak so gently and lovingly to me, after all that I’d done, cracked something inside of me.

I let go of the connection between myself and the shadows around me, and sat next to my husband, bringing my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them.

Byn went to wrap his arms around me, but I cringed away, making him pause.

“Please,” I whispered, “don’t touch me.”

His expression fell, and it made me feel even worse—something I didn’t realize was possible.

His disappointment was palpable, but he nodded his understanding. He shifted so he was sitting directly in front of me, close, but not touching. I wrapped my wings around the two of us, blocking us in from the outside world.

Feeling like I added to his burdens, a single tear slipped loose.

Then another.

I couldn’t help but feel unworthy right now. I didn’t deserve the love Byn was offering me, laying at my feet.

“Tell me what you’re thinking, Avi,” Byn said softly, trying to coax me back to reality instead of drowning in my own head.

I took a moment to ponder. Should I be honest? I knew we agreed to be open, but he hid his rising emotions from me until he physically couldn’t anymore. Should I push him out, the same way he did me? Was it worth it? Part of me thought so, but an even larger part of me was begging to let him in.

Deciding to just go for it, I whispered, “I don’t deserve this.”

“I know, love. You deserve better than—” I shook my head, cutting him off.

“I don’t deservethis.” I motioned to the small space between us. “I’m unworthy of the love you offer me, Byn. My name will go down in history asKin-Slayer, and nothing more. With my mother, it was an accident. I couldn’t control it. But this time, I mean… I knew exactly what I was doing, and what would happen.AndI did it anyways.”

The tears flowed freely now, and my breathing came faster and harsher.

Byn reached up as if to cup my cheek, but paused, as though remembering my earlier request. Without hesitation, I tilted my head to meet his hand, pressing the side of my face into his warm palm. Selfishly, I wanted his comfort.

I just wantedhim.

Byn’s eyes flicked to my throat, where I suddenly realized I was still lightly bleeding from.

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