Page 73 of When the Moon Met the Sun

Despite the small reprieve he seemed to have when I arrived, his hyperventilating resumed quickly, his hands leaving mine to reach up and grip his hair tightly.

“Byn, my love,” I said, then flared my wings out and around the two of us. Letting him once again enter one of the only places in the world I’d ever felt truly safe, and hoping he’d feel the same.

“Byn, focus on the calm you feel in my chest—like I focused on yours back at the cabin. I’m here,” I offered, hoping focusing on one steady emotion would help.

He shook his head side to side forcefully at the idea, but was unable in the moment to offer a further explanation.

Not knowing what else to do when that didn’t ease his pain, I decided to do exactly what he did for me all those months ago when I first arrived.

Wrapping my arms around the male I had come to love more than life itself, I pulled him to me so his head rested on my shoulder, and began to hum.

I hummed that same tune that had weaved into my head and never left, though I’d only heard it once.

I began softly, a bit tentatively, but when he didn’t pull away after a heartbeat, my courage grew, and the notes I made became stronger, though just as gentle and loving.

The tune itself was beautiful, though a bit on the sad side. It was something bittersweet.

I gingerly ran a hand up and down his spine—his shirt damp with sweat—as I continued to hum. With each passing note I released, his hyperventilating slowly ceased and his breaths deepened.

After a few more notes, the tune came to an end, but I continued to move my hand along his back until he was finally ready to lift his head on his own.

When he finally did and met my eyes, I could feel the love and gratitude radiating from him in place of that crushing weight—but the anxiety of his was still ever present.

“Tell me,” I said gently, but firmly.

Byn began shaking his head, and a haunted look overcame his expression. Suddenly, I felt like I could actually see just how heavy his crown weighed upon him.

Cupping one side of his face, I turned his head to look at me once again.

“You can’t deny something is wrong any longer. Tell me,” I said quietly. “Please, my love.”

His mouth set into a firm line, as though he was trying to stop his lip from trembling.

Then, as if a dam inside him had broken, he simply poured himself out before me.

“I’ve known I was to rule for years now, but that responsibility has never felt heavier than it does right now. The pressure to be perfect all the time, to always have the right answers. The weight of not only my sisters depending on me, but an entire kingdom…” He let out a shuddering breath. “The last time I planned a battle, strategies and all, as I did tonight, my parents died.” His voice broke as tears once again welled in his eyes.

“Who is going to die because of my decisions this time? How many families will I have to face who loses somebody in this battle? Each and every person who dies on this battlefield is an additional weight on my soul, along with my parents’ deaths.” He paused, taking a steadying breath. “Sometimes I go over in my head how I could have positioned our army differently last time, in order to spare my mother and father. Sometimes, in the darkest hours of the night, I wish I could have traded my life for theirs.” He said the last part so quietly it was hardly a whisper, tears escaping his eyes.

Hand still cupping his cheek, I tilted his head up to meet my eyes so he really heard me as I spoke.

“Your parents would have not changed a single thing, if it meant you got to keep living, Byn.Not a single thing.They loved you, and Margo, and Teagan with their entire beings, and if they could redo it, they wouldn’t change a thing—I guarantee it. My love, they wouldn’t wish this for you in the slightest, but I know that when their time came, they were confident their kingdom was in good hands with you as their heir. They had faith in you,believedin you, because they knew how courageous, loving, and brave you are,” I said with confidence.

“Not only that, but you don’t have to carry these burdens by yourself anymore. We’re in this together now, and any decisions you and I make, we face the consequences together, alright?” I asked.

Byn, still looking slightly doubtful, nodded his head. But behind the doubt clouding his eyes, I saw something even brighter.

Hope.

“Why couldn’t you focus on my calmness?” I asked him, my voice displaying only genuine curiosity.

At that, Byn paled slightly. He rubbed the back of his neck, obviously reluctant to share as he explained.

“Emotions can’t… expand, or take over others, like I might have allowed you to believe. They still have to go somewhere. When you focused on my calmness and peace back in Echen Bay, and took it into your own chest, I took all of your panic and fear into myself. Essentially, we swapped emotions in that moment.” He paused. “It was the only way I could think to help you at the time.”

“Byn…” I started.

The tightness in my chest from Byn has ceased completely now, only slight guilt radiating from him now, but just as he opened his mouth to respond, we both heard it.

---