Page 83 of What if It's Us

She takes another sip. “A little.”

I cock my head. “And?”

She hesitates then looks at me through her sunglasses. “I guess I’m just…scared. Not just about whether or not I’m pregnant. But…”

She trails off and stirs her slushie with her straw.

“But what? What are you scared about, Mar? Want to share with the class?”

“I think I’m scared about what this might be turning into. With you and…and me. You know?”

Fuck.

Did I read this all wrong?

Did our time together last week not mean what I thought it did?

She doesn’t want this?

She didn’t enjoy the sex?

It meant nothing to her?

Double fuck.

She doesn’t want me.

“It’s okay, Mar,” I respond as confidently as possible even though my chest is tingly and I suddenly don’t feel great. “We don’t uh…we don’t have to turn into anything.”

She shakes her head with a look of panic. “Who said I didn’t want it to turn into something?”

Wait.

What?

“Do you?” I can’t see her eyes through her shades but I stare into them anyway. “Do you want it to turn into something?”

“I…” She blows out a breath like she’s been holding that secret in for ages. “I like you, Ledger.”

Thank you, Jesus.

She really had me scared there.

“Spoiler alert, sweetheart, I’ve liked you for a hell of a lot longer.”

“What if I’m getting too attached though?” she asks. “You didn’t sign up for this, Ledge. You generously agreed to be a sperm donor for me and then you went and said all the nice words and you hugged me when I needed it and you bought me all the chocolate and you made me chant with Betty White and then the other night you…you treated me better than any man has ever treated me. How you’re not happily married with a family of your own right now is beyond me because…hell, Ledger. You’re a catch.”

I feel it too, sweetheart.

I feel every fucking moment with you.

I feel it in my bones.

“I feel like I should apologize or something here, Mar, but also I don’t want to apologize for a damn thing because I’m glad you feel the way you do.”

“You do?”

I have to chuckle at her hopeful tone. “Marlee, I’ve had a crush on you since day one. I think I told you that as I was sinking myself inside you last week. I know I may have said some questionable things that night—none of them were untrue by the way—but hell yes, I like you.” I gently lift her sunglasses so I can see her beautiful sparkling blue eyes. “You’re the reason I’m still single and not happily married with a family of my own.”

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