Page 104 of What if It's Us

Standing in the middle of a cardboard hurricane, I hold a box labeled PILLOWS (DO NOT CRUSH) and wonder how many professional athletes it took to break a perfectly good lamp.

Apparently, the answer was one.

“Yo! This one’s got a unicorn mug and, uh…a glittery hairbrush?” Griffin’s voice rings out from the kitchen.

“Ledger, man,” Harrison mocks. “Something you want to tell us?”

Ledger calls back from down the hall, “That’s not mine! And don’t touch her mug or I swear you’ll lose a finger.”

I grin as I pass through the living room, carefully sidestepping a trail of shoes, an open toolbox, a random hoodie that I think belongs to Bodhi, and a pink purse that I’m pretty sure is Layken’s. Honestly the place looks more like a garage sale than it does a living room.

“Okay but real talk,” August says, holding one of my favorite stained-glass desk lamps. “Where do you want this lamp?” Hisbrows crease. “Because it looks like something a fairy sneezed on.”

Well, that’s a visual.

“Fairy sneezes are totallythe vibe around here now, August.” I pass him a wink. “You can put it by the window.”

He groans but obeys, muttering something about losing his masculinity to pastels and glitter, which makes me laugh because if there’s anyone else I know who enjoys glitter as much as I do, it’s August’s wife, Ella. She doesn’t have a sparkly gold wand to match her mascot costume for nothing.

I set my box beside the couch and wince. One of the throw pillows has already been squashed under a helmet and it now looks like a crime scene.

Ledger appears at my side mildly sweaty.“Hey. Where does your witch cauldron go?”

“My what?” I huff out a laugh as I rub my hand over my growing belly. I swear to God I feel like I’m eight months pregnant and not just going on four.

Ledger holds up the item he was just asking about. “Oliver couldn’t decide if it was a planter or an ashtray.”

I scoff shaking my head. “That’s my lucky crystal pot, thank you,” I say defensively. “And it goes on the bookshelf. Carefully. It’s fragile and spiritually charged.”

Barrett passes by with a large box in his hand labeled CLOTHES. “Is that like… radioactive?”

Ledger nods. “Emotionally, yes.”

Barrett grunts and Ledger laughs until a loud crash echoes from the bathroom.

“Fuck! I’m okay!” Oliver calls from the ensuite bathroom. “I’m good. Ugh, fuck. I’m okay.”

I would’ve believed him had his shouts not been followed up by Scarlett’s shrieking laughter. “He is so not okay but it’s funny as hell!”

Oh no!

“What happened?” Ledger inquires, starting down the hall. I follow right behind.

Bent over laughing when we finally reach the bathroom, Scarlett points at her husband. “Oliver fell in the toilet!”

Okay. A grown-ass man with his legs hanging out of the toilet and his arms trying to hold his ass out of the water—albeit unsuccessfully—is funny as hell.

“How on earth did you do that?”

Scarlett continues to cackle, which makes me laugh as well.

“Well, I wasn’t exactly paying attention to the toilet seat being up when I went to place Marlee’s shower stuff in the shower and then I slipped and fell backwards and there was no way I was able to stop myself before I fell into this God forsaken piss water! Who decided to take a piss and not flush?”

“Clean up on aisle one,” Griffin shouts.

August shrugs. “Hey at least it’s not aisle two. You could be walking around looking like you literally shit your pants. Even more impressive because it would’ve been on the outside.”

“What about aisle three?” Bodhi asks, chuckling at Oliver’s predicament.

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