Page 86 of What if It's Us

If there’s a baby in you right now, I’m pretty sure it’s like…four cells big so I think you’re safe from any major dairy opinions at the moment.

Me

Phew. *stuffs my face with all the cheese I can find just in case*

Ledger

That’s my girl.

Me

Why are you being so calm and rational about all this?

Ledger

I’m balancing you out. It’s a delicate hormonal ecosystem we’re building.

Me

Okay but for real. Am I allowed to have soft cheese or should I stay away?

Ledger

If it’s pasteurized, you’re safe. If it’s unpasteurized… *GIF of Ted Lasso cringing* How bougie was this cheese?

Me

Trader Joe’s.

Ledger

You’re golden. Trader Joe’s would never do you dirty like that.

Me

I’m keeping this text forever and reading it aloud whenever I start to panic-snack so thank you.

Ledger

Great. I’ll record an official PSA: “Hi, I’m Ledger, and I approve this cheese.”

Me

I’m officially obsessed with you. Even if you’re a weirdly pro-cheese lobbyist right now.

Ledger

It’s about damn time. I’ve been obsessed with you since you started dating that guy with the weird pointy nose who used to always peg his pants. I’m glad the eighties called and took him back though.

Me

LOL I can’t with you.

Ledger

Not that I’m judging. This is me, not judging your old dating habits. I’m here for you, babe. You, me, and your adorable anxiety-ridden dairy spiral. Now go eat some crackers and chill. I’ve got your back. And more brie when you want it.

My head is throbbing.

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