Page 111 of What if It's Us

I know I’m right where I need to be.

The soft thud of footsteps,the hum of machines, and thewhoosh-whoosh-whooshof a fetal heart monitor are the only sounds I can focus on. The chaos of the hockey game is a world away now.

I’m seated next to Marlee’s hospital bed, still in my uniform. I finally got my skate off and am currently sporting sock-covered feet and wild helmet hair. I’m sure I look like a man who just sprinted off a battlefield. I suppose in a way, I did.

I hold Marlee’s hand in mine not allowing my gaze to roam anywhere else but on her. She looks pale, tired, but alert. Calm, even. Or at least she’s trying to be.

“You smell like the penalty box,” she finally whispers. Her eyes are slow to blink and I know she must be so exhausted.

“You scared the hell out of me, Mar.”

“You didn’t have to run off the ice like that.”

“I’d do it again a thousand times,” I tell her, squeezing her hand and rubbing my thumb across the back of her hand. “It’s just a game. You? You’re not a game to me, Marlee.”

She smiles faintly. “You said you love me.”

“Do you need me to say that again a thousand times too?” I ask. “Because I do, and I will.”

She swallows and then says, “I love you too, Ledger.”

Her words take my breath away.

She loves me.

She said the words I’ve longed to hear.

The words I never thought I would hear in my adult lifetime.

“Mar…”

“You’re my person, Ledger,” she continues, reaching out her hand and pressing her palm to my cheek. “I never thought I would be in this place. Pregnant and totally in love with my baby’s father, but here I am. Looking at the man I love and knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’s the man meant for me. And I love him so much.”

Fuck. Me.

My chest relaxes and finally the adrenaline of the day expires and my emotions spill out of me. I try to fight back the tears but there’s no stopping them.

“I need you to be okay, Marlee. Please, God, be okay. Whatever is going on, we’re going to figure it out. Together. And then I’ll never take another day with you for granted ever again.” He takes my hand from his cheek and kisses my palm. “I love you and I’ll do whatever I can to be the man you deserve. I’ll never hurt you, Mar. I promise you that. I just need you to be okay.”

Please don’t leave me.

Don’t leave me like my parents did.

“Hey,” she coos, grabbing my hands and holding on tight until I look her in her glistening eyes. “We’re okay. I’m okay. The baby is okay. I promise. We’re going to be fine. At least, I hope we’re going to be fine, but I’m not going anywhere, okay? I promise.”

I nod, resting my forehead gently against her temple. For a moment, we simply breathe together, calming our racing hearts from the chaos of the day.

There’s a knock at the door, and a cheerful-looking ultrasound tech rolls in with a cart.

“Sorry to interrupt this cute moment,” she says, smiling brightly. “But we need to do a quick scan to check on the baby if that’s okay. The doctor wants to make sure everything’s where it should be and that there are no underlying issues.”

“Please,” Marlee says with an approving nod. “I’d be in a sheer panic if I wasn’t already hearing the fetal heartbeat telling me the baby is still in there and not trying to check out early.”

She pushes up her gown, and I stand next to the bed, my eyes fixed on the monitor.

Please let the baby be okay.

Please God, let it be okay.

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