Page 144 of Changing Rules

XANDER

October

I love wakingup beside her, finding her still deep in sleep. I love watching her, how peacefully beautiful she is, how soft and tender her features are, how warm and silky her skin is.

She’s perfect for me.

My eyes drift to her stomach, where my tee has ridden up to reveal her skin.

I want to be a dad one day, and I can’t imagine having children with anyone but Bella. She’s so tender and nurturing and cares so much about the people close to her. I can guarantee she’ll be an incredible mom. I want to fucking put a ring on her finger. I want the whole world to know she’s with me. But it’s not the right time. Things are too fragile between us.

“What time is it?” she whispers.

“Nine, I think.” I inch closer and pull her to me. “I’ve got about two hours before I need to leave.”

“I wish you could stay home with me and Milo.” She snuggles into me, winding her arms around my torso and pressing her face to my chest. “It feels nice…too nice.”

“Like you don’t want to leave this bed?Thatkind of nice?” My low murmur makes her shiver.

“Uh-huh.” She nibbles at my collarbone, working her way up to my throat. “You feel like home.”

My heart trips over itself. Dear God, how am I supposed to stay calm when she says shit like that? And her lips on my neck? She’s slowly killing me.

“Because Iamyour home, just like you are mine. I’ve never felt this at peace anywhere but with you. Home is where you are.”

“We fucked up, Alexander Walker. Do you realize that?”

A heartbeat later, she’s on her back, and I’m hovering over her beautiful face. “If by ‘fucked up’ you mean we fell madly in love with each other and it’s forever? Then yeah, we fucked up.”

“That’s exactly what I mean.” She arches up and presses her lips to mine in the sweetest kiss. “I haven’t slept that well in days.”

“Well, your demands were pretty strict, if you ask me.” Laughing, I roll off her. “No sex. Just cuddles.”

“So you’re only interested in me because our sex is mind-blowing?” She turns onto her side, hiding her hands under the pillow.

“Just mind-blowing? I would add unique, passionate, unforgettable.”

She breaks into a false scowl. “So that’s it? Just sex then?”

I haul her to me, making her straddle my legs. My body warms at the sight of her in my tee, my heartbeat strong and steady.

“It’s never been just sex with you, even when I delusionally thought like that. You give me purpose, the feeling that I belong, that I’m needed. You make me feel alive. You are my everything, Bella, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to stay away from you when the only thing I want is to be by your side. Always.”

“Are you a mind reader now?” she murmurs, kissing my lips. “Because that’s pretty much how I feel about you.”

“Really?” As I search her face, the rhythm of my heartbeat picks up. I was hoping she felt the same way I did, but I was afraid to believe it. My self-confidence has fooled me when it comes to her, and way more often than I’m willing to admit. “Move in with me.”

Her smile falls, and she sits up. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” I sit up and wrap my arms around her waist.

“Remember the internship I mentioned?”

I nod.

“It’s a year long, and it starts in May.” She takes a deep breath. “And it’s in Santa Clara, California.”

My stomach lurches.What?“You just got back.”

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