Page 39 of Changing Rules

God, I need a therapist. I know it, but I keep putting it off.

“Milo?” I call, but I’m only met with silence.

Maybe Xander is walking him.

I unlock my phone and stare at the screen. Eight p.m. It’s been almost twelve hours since he left the house, and I haven’t received a single call or text, not even a reply to my own text to him. It’s like Stacey occupies his mind now, and I’ve stopped existing.

Again. I’m letting a man trample all over me again. This time, though, I plan to face the problem head-on rather than torture myself with my suspicions.

I rotely drop my purse near my laptop, then change into blue cotton shorts and a white tee. Meticulously, I wash my face and comb my hair. As I’m stepping out of the bathroom, the front door opens and shuts again, followed by the sound of Xander’s voice.

“Yeah, my dog is lazy… I’m sure he won’t be. Uh-huh… Thank you for showing me that place today. Bye, Stace.”

The crack in my heart fissures a little more. I was right. He was with her. That’s why he didn’t bother to check on me.

With a shake of my head, I step back into the bathroom. I brush my teeth, leaving the water running; the sound calms my frayed nerves. I’d do just about anything to stop the thoughts that are pummeling me. To stop hurting.

I want to forget.

When I’m finished, I hesitate in the hallway. He’s in the kitchen, probably feeding Milo and refreshing his water.

I haven’t eaten anything since this morning, but my appetite is nonexistent. The pit that has taken up residence in my gut since my encounter with the pap this morning won’t allow it. So, I go back to the bedroom and lie on the bed, staring up at the ceiling in the dark.

After a moment, I force myself to turn onto my side. I flip on the bedside lamp and take my Kindle from the nightstand. The sapphic romance I started last night is really good. With any luck, it’ll help me calm down before I have to confront Xander.

I’m sitting up against the headboard, finishing a chapter, when the door cracks open and Xander walks in, dressed in his sweatpants and a white tee. His eyes land on me, and his beautiful smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. I love it so much, but tonight, it only pierces my heart.

“Hey, baby. Didn’t know you were home.”

“Hey.” I drop my gaze to my e-book, though the words are a blur. Was he so absorbed in his conversation with her that hedidn’t even notice my car in the driveway? “I got home twenty minutes ago.”

“Lunch with Meg turned into dinner?” His tone is light as he heads to the walk-in closet.

“I didn’t see Meg today.”

He stops near the end of the bed, his brow creasing. “No?”

“No.” I bow my head over my book again. Not that I can actually read in this state, but I can’t look at him while I work out how to ask my questions without sounding like a jealous girlfriend.

“Okay.” He proceeds to the walk-in closet, and when he comes out, he’s in nothing but his briefs. “Do you want to watch something?”

“I have my book, thank you.”

Ask me what’s wrong.

That’s what I want to yell at him, but I keep my cool.

“Fine.” With a shrug, he picks up his laptop. He settles in beside me, dropping his phone onto the comforter. But within seconds, he straightens and scans the room. “Where are my AirPods?”

Without waiting for a response, he hops up and strides out of the room.

I swear, when he goes, he takes all the air with him. He’s circling, working out the best way to approach me. It’s obvious. All he needs to do is to ask. I’d tell him everything. Anything. He knows how Jake treated me, how he cheated and lied.

Yet he’s still keeping secrets from me.

His phone buzzes where it’s lying facedown on the mattress. Then again. And again.

For fuck’s sake.

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