Page 108 of Changing Rules

I can’t do this.

I shake my head and walk back into the house, the bouquet pressed tightly to my chest.

“Izzy?” Jess says, her tone full of concern.

“Sorry.” I clear my throat. “Um, I got distracted.” Mind reeling, I head to the kitchen. “How about we meet for dinner, and we can decide from there?”

“How about Wednesday?”

I fill the vase with water, stuff the bouquet into it, and head upstairs without a second glance.

“Could I invite Meg? We can have a girls’ night out.”

“The more the merrier.”

Once we’ve decided on a restaurant, I end the call. As silence surrounds me, my mind spins again. Hands trembling, I toss my phone onto the mattress, then run my fingers through my hair.

I know I should keep my distance, but it’d be a lie if I said that, deep down, I wasn’t happy to see him. And everything he said about following me on Instagram, about his sister… It went straight to my traitorous little heart.

It’s like being torn in two, the painful memories battling the good ones.

Desperate to ease the tension in my body, I take a shower. Filled with restless energy, I scrub my skin. As I brush one nipple, a shot of desire courses through me.

Eyes closed, I slip my hand down my torso, only stopping when I reach my clit. Bracing myself against the shower wall, I rub slow circles, then slip one finger inside. After a few pumps, I add another one.

God, it feels so good.

Waves of heat roll off me, building as I hurtle closer to release. I’m seconds away when I shift, my eyes opening, and catch sight of the little tattoo on my wrist. That’s all it takes for me to stop. As I slide to the floor, the desire coiling in me unfurls and washes down the drain.

I am my own biggest obstacle.

I need to call Dr. Khan… I need perspective.

CHAPTER 30

I LOVE YOU

XANDER

August

“How are things with Bella?”Drew asks on our way to the locker room.

Practice was tough, but it was exactly what we needed. We’re coming off a win, and we need to keep up the momentum.

“Same,” I mutter, wiping the sweat from my forehead. “My phone number is still blocked, and now that she knows I follow her on Instagram, she stopped posting.”

“What does Marco have to say?” he asks as we step into the locker room. The place is mostly empty, since only he and I stuck around after practice.

“He has no idea why she isn’t posting.” I open my locker and take out my duffel bag. “I even tried calling her from a different number, and she didn’t answer.” I hang my head and squeeze my eyes shut. “I don’t know how to convince her to give me another chance. She kissed me back, so I know she still has feelings for me, yet she won’t give me the time of day.” I rough a hand through my hair. “I don’t talk to my sister, I don’t talk to Stacey. I’ve made things right, but she still claims we have nothing totalk about, like she has the right to make that decision for the both of us.”

Drew shucks off his pants and wraps a towel around his waist, a deep frown etched onto his face. “You still don’t get it, do you?”

“What?” I yank my tee over my head and use it to wipe the residual sweat from my face.

“You still don’t see that you did the same thing to her. She left thinking it would be better for you, just like you thought it would be better to handle her problems for her. You took away her choice under the guise of ‘good intentions,’ yet when she did the same to you, you got pissed.”

The realization is a punch to the gut, one that steals the oxygen from my lungs.

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