Page 7 of A Not So Merry Ex-Mas

I shake my head not having any words of comfort to offer her at the moment. Emotions I stuffed away years ago are swirling inside like a cyclone and I don’t knowhow to sort through them. Heck, I’m having a hard time even identifying them.

“Noelle?” Melanie’s voice holds a tinge of worry.

“I’ll be okay.” I try my best to convince her. And me. “I’m just upset right now.”

“I know,” she whispers. “You’ve just been unhappy for so long—”

“That’s not true!” I snap.

I can hear her sigh through the phone.

She’s right, I have been unhappy. So long in fact, I think I forgot what it’s like to actually feel joy. Not that I never feel it, but it’s not like when…

No, I'm not letting myself go there.

I shake my head and take another deep breath. I remember how my heart lifted when I saw Cole standing in front of me today. It was like the first time he walked toward my tutoring desk back in college. Every cell in my body seemed to come alive and my heart did a little dance.

I shake my head again and let out a snort.

“Noelle?” Melanie says in that soft voice of hers. The voice that comes out whenever she’s going to say something that will strike a cord. “After you lost your gran, life seemed to get really tough for you. Andthen you met Dean, but it was never much easier with him.”

My heart clenches, and my stomach drops. Once again, Mel gets to the heart of the matter. She does not pull any punches.

“It’s been really hard for me to watch from a distance knowing you were struggling to keep everything together. On more than one occasion I wanted to deck Dean with how he would talk to you.” I feel pressure at the back of my eyes. “And so did Mike, but we kept our mouths shut…for you. When you called and told me you were leaving him because he cheated on you I did a jig.”

I gasp and my mouth all but falls to the ground.

“Seriously! Mike recorded it.”

“What?!” I laugh out loud. “He didn’t!”

“Oh, yes he did! And then he laughed at it for hours.”

“Ineedto see that!” A wide smile crosses my face as I imagine Mel doing that silly dance of hers. Another small laugh escapes me.

“My point is Noe, I knew that you wouldn’t leave him even though you were miserable. I knew you’d stay. I also knew that your line would be infidelity.” I slowly nod my head at her words because she’s right.I wouldn’t stay with a man who cheated on me. “So when he did, I knew you would be getting out and I was so happy for you!”

My stomach swirls like a volcano at how much I tried to hide, and yet my best friend knew the truth all along. I wasn’t hiding from anyone, including myself.

“He did me a huge favor.” I whisper. “Oh did I tell you he called me today?”

“He didn’t?!” Melanie squeaks.

“Yup. I didn’t answer.”

“You need to just block his number. You don’t owe him anything.” Mel’s voice gets hard and my chest fills with love, right before another gust of wind blows.

“I’m gonna head back in.” I say hugging myself and rubbing my hand up and down my arm. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Oh hey Noe…”

“Yeah?” I shiver as the cold starts to seep in.

“Tell Cole I said ‘hi’.”

I purse my lips and snort out a laugh. “Don’t push your luck!”

Melanie’s laughter rings in my ears, and a small smile creeps on my lips.

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