Page 45 of A Not So Merry Ex-Mas

“That shovel thing was an accident. I didn’t know you were right there,” she smiles innocently, but theglint in her eyes tells me she isn’t telling the whole truth. I pin her with a stare. “Okay, the first time was an accident.”

“The first time?” I narrow my eyes, and she lifts a shoulder. I press my lips together even harder.

“Yes, a mistake. Truly!” She raises her hand as if she’s about to swear. “But after your initial reaction, I couldn’t stop myself from throwing the second shovel full.”

“I knew it!” I run with her towards the snow pile.

“Cole,” she screams, squealing with her arms tight around my neck. I try to drop her, but she clings to me like a baby koala. Every time I get one appendage off, another finds its way around my body. Finally, I give up and fall onto the pile with her.

I have her pinned under my body weight, squealing, moving in every direction while she looks for a weak spot to free herself. I grab a handful of snow and hold it over her face. She freezes.

“You wouldn’t?!” She looks up at me with eyes sparkling, almost daring me.

I would, and she knows it.

“Nah,” I lean in to kiss her, only to move my lips at the last minute and gently rub the handful of snow I have in her face. I pull back and give her a full grin.

“Proud of yourself?” She asks, wiping the snow out of her face.

“Very!” I rub my nose against hers and wipe the remaining snow away. I lean in for a real kiss when cold slush hits my cheek, and a squeak reaches my ear. “Oh, that was clever, Bug. Very clever.”

I turn my head over her face and shake the snow onto her. Her squeals of laughter send ripples of joy through me. I place a hand on her face and stare into her shining hazel eyes.

For a moment, regret runs through me, and my stomach churns.

I regret all the time I’ve spent away from her having moments like these. I miss out on her telling me how her day was after spending time with her frisky seniors. Missing out on every Christmas since the one we spent with her grandmother together.

“Cole?” Her eyebrows are drawn together, and she pins me with a worried stare, breaking through my reverie. “Are you okay?”

Her gloved palm is resting on my cheek, and my heart tugs. How do I tell her that I’m sad for all the time we’ve spent apart without completely freaking her out. I just got her back; I can’t lose her now.

I turn my face into her hand, kiss it, and then turn back to her with what I hope is a smile that reaches my eyes. “Of course I’m okay.”

“Are you sure? You looked…” She pauses as if uncertain how to phrase what she’s thinking.

“I’m okay,” I whisper before pressing my lips to hers. “Promise.”

The questioning look is still there, but I can’t do anything about it now. I’ll figure out how to say what I want when the time is right.

“Let’s finish shoveling out Belle and get the cookies started. I don’t want Mike to get in trouble.”

I push myself up and pull Noelle with me. I walk over to our shovels and pick them both up. When I hand hers over, I see the corner of her lip turned down.

My stomach swirls again and nausea overcomes me.

Part of me knows I’m acting silly; I should just tell her what I was thinking. It’s not that big of a revelation.

I’ve missed her, that’s all.

I’ve missed the years I thought we would spend together that the hand of cards dealt us. Maybe she feels the same as I do. But I’m suddenly terrified, so I don’t say anything.

Great, Cole.Justgreat.

Chapter Twenty-One

Noelle

The heat from insidewraps around me like a warm blanket. I inhale deeply and enjoy the heat, hoping it will soothe the worry that’s overcome me since that weird expression on Cole’s face.

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