Page 12 of A Not So Merry Ex-Mas

“You can do this Noelle. Just breathe.”

I feel a different kind of pressure fill my chest and my mask falls back in place. My reflection gives me a tight smile.

The fact that my eyes seem lifeless means nothing. The emotions that were racing through me have been stuffed back in their rightful place where they can’t take over. No one can touch me—especially Cole Nichols.

As determined as Iam to stay in this room, my grumbling stomach won’t let me. I haven’t heard the front door open or close since Cole went outside. If I go now I can run out, grab something real quick and get myself back behind this door without ever laying a single eye on him.

I slowly open the door and stick my head out. I pause for a moment to listen. The only sound I hearis the crackling of wood. I squeeze my eyes tight as an intense longing overcomes me.

I was supposed to be wrapped in a blanket, legs tucked underneath me holding a warm hot chocolate while the heat from the flames soothed my soul.

I’ve been dreaming about sitting in front of that fire from the moment Mel and I planned this when I told her I was getting divorced and coming home. My first Christmas home was supposed to be filled with tree trimming, games, and long girl talks.

Now it’s ruined.

Stop being dramatic, Noelle.

I sigh. Okay, well not ruined, but severely off track.

I tip-toe out of my room inching my way to the kitchen. With each creak the floor makes, I freeze and hold my breath. When I don’t hear anything else I start the entire process over again.

After what feels like an eternity, I finally make it to the kitchen. I stop and listen just to make sure I’m still alone. When I’m positive I don’t hear another person in the cabin, I let myself breathe regularly. A chuckle escapes my lips at how ridiculous I’m being.

I mean really, what’s the worst that will happen if I run into Cole? I’ll just act like he isn't there. Easy-peasy.

I roll my shoulders back and forth and give my neck a quick roll from left to right. I pull open the refrigerator door just as my stomach decides to protest…loudly.

“I know, I know. Just give me a second to see what we have.”

I rest my hand on the top of the door and take in the food in front of me. Mel wasn’t kidding when she said she got all my favorites. My mouth starts to water, while my stomach lets it be known that it wants everything.

I need something fast and easy. My eyes are drawn to the Brie wheel sitting on the top shelf. I reach out my hand but stop, knowing that if I take the Brie I won’t be able to stop with just one piece.

I look around to see what else there is when my eyes catch a box of popcorn on the table.

“Not exactly what I was hoping for, but it will do,” I murmur. “After all, time is of the essence.”

I shut the refrigerator door and pick up the popcorn. I’m opening the box when I hear the front door close.

My heart starts to pound and I hold my breath.

Breathe, Noelle!

I take a deep breath and slowly exhale as I hear Cole taking off his outerwear.

Now put the popcorn in the microwave and act natural.

I turn to the microwave and take a step forward when I notice a Dutch oven and stew vegetables on the counter. My stomach roars and my hand covers it, applying pressure as if that will somehow stop the grumbling beast inside.

I love stew.

I shove the popcorn in the microwave and casually lean against the counter. From the corner of my eye, I see Cole walk past the kitchen without turning his head in my direction. My shoulders loosen while my chest simultaneously tightens.

I keep my eyes on the microwave. The popping is happening quickly now. My stomach lets out one final protest as the smell of the popped corn surrounds me. Finally, the microwave lets out its beep. I grab a bowl, dump the popcorn, pick up a bottle of water and head out the kitchen door. My eyes slam into Cole’s.

I freeze.

He stops, steps aside and puts himself up against the wall—plenty of room to pass without coming into physical contact with him.

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