Page 1 of A Not So Merry Ex-Mas

Chapter One

Noelle

“This one.” I pointat the six-foot balsam fir before me, not even trying to hold my smile back. “It’s perfect!”

The crisp New York air has my face stinging, my fingers numb, and my body vibrating. I finally found exactly what I was looking for.

“Are you sure?” Jason, the employee at the Christmas tree stand, asks.

I nod my head vigorously. “Positive.”

This will be my first Christmas at home in over a decade and the first after my divorce. I want it to be flawless.

I blow warm air on my fingertips as I walk across the gravel path, leading Jason toward my red Volkswagen Beetle so he can secure the tree to the roof.

“We don’t see many of these around here with the snow, ice, and all.” He smirks as he looks over Belle. “Hopefully, you’ll arrive at your destination before bad weather hits.”

“I’m heading to my friend’s cabin for the holiday. It’s only about ten minutes from here, and I’m confident Belle will make it without a hitch.”

“Belle, huh?” His lips quirk, and his brows rise when I mention the name of my car. It’s the usual reaction from people. He chuckles. “Well, she’s definitely a beauty.”

“That she is!” I rub the hood of my baby and smile at him. “Thank you so much for your help in finding the perfect tree!”

“It was my pleasure.” Jason’s eyes sparkle and crinkle at the corners. “Have a very Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” I return as I climb into Belle and stick the key into the ignition, blasting the heat. The radio blares with Brenda Lee singing her classicRockin’ Around TheChristmas Tree,and I find myself singing along as I head back onto the highway.

As I get closer to Melanie’s family cabin, the trees pass in a blur, and memories from my childhood flashback. Spending holidays there with them were some of my best teenage memories. Melanie’s parents eventually stopped celebrating holidays at the cabin as they got older and decided to travel the world instead. Despite that, Mel and I would make it a point to come up and spend as much time as possible once we could drive ourselves.

After my father cheated on my mother, she divorced him and moved us halfway across the country just to spite him. Even though he didn’t earn any Father of the Year awards, he was still my dad and loved me. But she knew he wouldn’t be able to come to New York to see me.

When I moved from Utah to New York after my parents' divorce, Melanie took me under her wing, and we became instant friends.

My chest clenches as I remember that time in my life. Mel was like a healing balm to my lost soul, and we’ve been friends ever since.

A heaviness overcomes me as I can’t help but see the mirror reflection I’m living from my mother’s life almost twenty years ago, but I shake it off.

“You are not your mother, Noelle!” I chastise myself even though a light quiver crosses my stomach. Just then, my phone rings and I look to see Dean’s name across my screen. My finger punches the decline button and I send the call to voicemail.

“Perfect timing, Dean. As always.” I’m no longer in love with my ex-husband, but I can’t stop the bitterness from rising after all the time I spent unhappily married to him.

I take a deep breath and blow it out slowly. All the joy I was feeling at coming home drains from my body. Our divorce was finalized last week. It was only a matter of time before he called me. He always liked to have the last word. I clench my jaw and snort.

“He is your past, and you are driving into your future!” I force my jaw to relax and attempt to put a smile on my face, hoping the tightness in my chest will ease if I force myself into happiness. “Act as if, right?”

Without warning, a pair of green sparkling eyes and a smile to die for crosses my mind. Cole. My heart beats a bit faster while my stomach drops. I remember the last time we spent Christmas together, ten years ago, before everything went topsy-turvy.

For the second time in five minutes, I take a deep breath and work to push that memory out of mymind. Cole has popped into my head more times than I want to count over the past six years since last seeing him at Melanie and Mike’s wedding.

I shake my head and chuckle sardonically while one of my many regrets fills me. I let the love of my life walk away from me because I didn’t believe that we could make things work, and instead, I settled for a man who would never love anyone but himself.

Even though marrying Dean was a huge mistake, his cheating on me was exactly what I needed to move forward with my life. I’m grateful to him, in a weird, slightly sadistic way, but I know that if he hadn’t had an affair, I would’ve stayed in a loveless marriage, forever regretting my choices, which would have been infinitely worse.

Jingle Bellsbreaks through my reverie, and I look to see Melanie’s name on my phone. I turn down the radio and answer.

“I’m almost there.” I can’t hold back the smile that spreads across my face. “How far away are you?”

Mike and Melanie are meeting me at the cabin, and we planned to arrive at almost the exact time, so Mel and I won’t miss a minute of girl time.

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