Page 72 of Guarded from Havoc

For the first time in my life, I’m falling in love.

CHAPTER 14

TATUM

I’m yankedout of sleep by a pained moan.

Not my own, though it wouldn’t be surprising.

More times than I’d like to count, I’ve woken up in a cold sweat, a scream stuck halfway up my throat.

Though my days have been fairly normal, all things considered, my nights are when the terrible memories come creeping back. Nightmares where I’m still stuck on the island, surrounded by traps, seeing violence and blood everywhere I turn. Where I’m alone, without Erik to protect me.

But it’s clear from the sounds Erik’s making, he’s the one fighting through a nightmare this time.

His features are pinched with pain and his eyes move restlessly through closed lids. Low groans rumble up from his chest. His body is tense and twitching.

My heart aches to see him suffering. Not just aches, but wrenches. Instinct tells me to wrap my arms around him. Comfort him just like he’s done for me.

For once, he’s the one needing protection instead of giving it.

Now his hesitation about spending the night makes more sense. After our second round of lovemaking we ended up snuggled in bed well past midnight, and it just made sense for him to stay over. At least to me, it did. It was just so comfortable laying beside him, my head pillowed on his chest, listening to the rhythmic thump of his heart. With his arms wrapped around me, his bare skin pressed against mine, it was the safest I’ve felt in months.

So when he made a move to get up, I asked him to stay.

“It’s not that I don’t want to spend the night,” he explained apologetically. “I don’t sleep well, usually. And I don’t want to ruin yours.”

“I don’t care,” I told him. “I haven’t been sleeping well, either. So maybe if we’re together, we can help each other sleep better.”

“Tate.” He hugged me closer and pressed his lips to the top of my head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think. Of course I’ll stay. And if you have any nightmares, I’ll chase them away.”

But I didn’t have a nightmare. Not one. Not with Erik’s reassuring presence beside me. It was like even in sleep, my body knew he’d protect me.

Erik though… it’s clear whatever he’s dreaming about, it isn’t good.

I sit up to look at him, caught in indecision.

Logically, I know I should leave him alone. Everything I’ve read about nightmares, especially ones triggered by traumatic memories, like I think this one might be, is that you should let the person wake up on their own.

On the other hand, I’ve been doing some research on PTSD—partly for myself, and partly to understand what Erik went through—and it’s possible this could be a flashback instead. One of the articles I read said if you wake someone up from aflashback, you can help the person to rewrite the memory, so to speak. Help the person take control of their dreams.

So which is it? A regular nightmare or a flashback?

Erik moans again. Then he mumbles, “No. Stay back. Don’t?—”

My chest flays open at the agony in his voice. And my decision is made. I can’t just leave him to suffer. Not when I’m right here, desperate to help him.

I scoot away from him a little, so he doesn’t wake up with me looming over him. Then I rest my hand on his shoulder and give it a gentle shake. In a soft, soothing tone, I say, “Erik. It’s okay. It’s just a dream. You’re safe.”

He doesn’t wake up. Instead, he groans, “No.Please. Please,no?—”

“Erik,” I repeat, shaking his shoulder again. “It’s Tate. I’m right here. You’re safe.”

At first, I don’t think it’s working.

A few seconds later, his eyes fly open, filled with fear.

His hand clamps around my wrist; strong as a vise.

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