Page 43 of Guarded from Havoc

ERIK

“If this getsto be too much, just tell me, okay?”

As Tatum glances up at me, a smile ghosts across her lips before fading. “I’m okay, Erik. Really. It’s just a meeting, after all. I think I can handle it.”

“I’m sure you can,” I reply. “But these meetings can be stressful. And I don’t want you to feel like you have to go through everything today. We can always stop and pick up again tomorrow.”

It’s not that I don’t think she can handle meeting with my team. After everything she went through on the island, how well she held up even during the most terrifying parts of it, I have no doubt that Tate can handle just about anything.

But I don’t want her to suffer. To be put in another situation that upsets her. I don’t want to watch her gorgeous blue eyes fill with tears as she struggles through our questions; asking her to recall memories of what was undoubtedly the most frightening experience of her life.

And not just that, but having to dive into her background, which is hard on all of our clients. Asking them if there’s anyonefrom their present or past who might want to hurt them. Forcing them to consider the people they care about as potential threats.

I don’treallythink Tatum had anything to do with us ending up on that island. But it’s still something we need to investigate. Because thinking this is all related to Blade and Arrow isn’t the same as being sure of it.

So we have to ask her the hard questions, no matter how much I wish we could avoid it.

Tatum stops and turns to me. There’s a determined lift to her chin as she says, “I don’t want to put this off. I know you and your team need as much information as possible in order to solve this. I’m not sure how much I’ll be able to help, honestly, but if there’s something I know… I don’t want to sit on it.”

A fresh surge of admiration fills my chest.

She’s so damn brave. Even though I wish like anything she didn’t have to be.

As I look down at her delicate features, still much too pale for my liking, with the smudges of blue under her eyes and the purpling bruise on her cheek, heavy guilt settles over me.

Everything that happened to Tate was most likely my fault. Even if I wasn’t the sole target, rather Blade and Arrow as a whole, I’m still the one who dragged her into it. If Tatum hadn’t come over to my cabin that night, she’d probably still be safely back in the Adirondacks. Not halfway across the country, forced into hiding while we try to figure out who tried to kill her.

I’ve felt plenty of guilt before. Back when my dad died and I wasn’t with him at the hospital because I was on a month-long mission overseas. Back when Cole’s split team was betrayed by that fucking traitor and I wasn’t there to help them. And that horrible day when Jeff and Tyler?—

Shit.

Tension bands around my chest, tightening; just as it always does whenever I allow my mind to slip back to that day. To theexplosion that changed everything. To the look in Jeff’s eyes as I watched his life drain away. To the splintering pain that finally took over, sending me into a pit of darkness that I still wonder if I’ve ever fully emerged from.

“Erik?” Concern darkens Tatum’s gaze. “Are you okay?” Her small hand takes mine and she tugs me to a stop. “I know you keep saying you feel fine. But those men… they hurt you. I know they did. Are you in pain? I know you said Rhiannon used to be a medic. Have you had her check you out since you got back here?”

Something grabs hold of my heart and tugs.

Without warning, I’m seized by the urge to pull Tate into my arms. Not to protect her, but just to feel her body pressed against mine. To breathe in her soft scent—vanilla and coconut—and touch my lips to her hair. Find out if it’s really as soft as it looks.

I won’t do it, of course. Even if Iwaslooking for a relationship, which I’m not, this is hardly the time. Not when Tate is still hurt and traumatized and dealing with a shit-ton of crap already. I’m here to support her, to make sure she feels safe, and that’s all.

“I’m okay,” I assure her. “And Rhi—Rhiannon—did a quick exam last night. Everything looks fine. Just some bruises, but nothing to worry about.”

Her brows pull down. Tiny lines of worry form between them. “You looked like you were in pain. Are you sure—” She stops, then adds quietly, “Nevermind. It’s none of my business.”

My heart tugs again.

And while I know I should pull my hand away from hers, I can’t bring myself to do it.

Moving forward, I gently urge her along with me, down the rest of the hallway and towards the team living space. As we walk, I say, “You’re allowed to ask, Tate. You can ask me anything.” Then I find myself admitting, “I’m not in pain. I was just remembering something that isn’t very pleasant. That’s all.”

Tatum stares at me for a second.“Erik.”Sympathy laces her voice. “I know we haven’t known each other long, but if there’s anything…”

“You’re already doing it.” I give her hand a small squeeze. And I admit something else I wasn’t expecting to. “Being with you helps. I’m not sure why, but it does.”

Shit.

Why did I say that?

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