Page 28 of Guarded from Havoc

I know my voice is rising, but I can’t help it. Panic is rising inside me, a balloon getting bigger and bigger, threatening to burst. All I can think about is that water and how badly I want to get to it. How I want to get out of here and have those sandwiches with Erik. Bake those cookies.

And maybe hold his hand, not because it’s life or death and he’s trying not to leave me behind, but because wewantto.

It’s so stupid, thinking about a future with Erik at a time like this. But I just want the promise of something. Even if he goes back to Texas in a few days and I never see him after that, I want our lunch together. I want to make him those cookies, like I promised.

“Tate.” Erik leans down so our faces are nearly level. Determination is etched into his features and intensity burns in his gaze. “Part of training with explosives is understanding the electronics used in building them. I can do this. I know it’s asking a lot, but trust me.”

“I do trust you. But—” My voice cracks. “You don’t have anything. And if you get hurt…” Fresh tears run down my cheeks. “I don’t want you to get hurt, Erik. I can’t?—”

Erik hugs me to him, effectively cutting off the rest of my words. “I won’t. I’ll be okay. And wearegetting over that fence.”

Just for a second, I lean into the hug, pushing everything else to the side. I breathe in Erik’s scent, a mix of faint citrus and pine and salt. I absorb his strength, his thickly muscled arms and chest surrounding me. I feel my heart settle into the same rhythm as his, soothing my rising panic.

His big hand comes to the back of my head, cupping it. His breath feathers across my hair. “This is another promise, Tate. We’re getting over that fence. Safely.”

I want to believe him.

So badly.

But I’m scared. Not just of what might happen to me if he fails, but of something terrible happening to him. Of my selfless guardian getting injured or worse?—

Behind my closed eyes, horrible images appear. Possibilities I don’t want to consider, but can’t push away.

Erik touching a live wire; thrown back violently. Hitting a tree. Hitting his head. Laying there on the ground, unconscious.

Erik frozen as electricity pulses through him, screaming in pain.

Erik—

No. Stop.This isn’t helping. And I’m wasting time. Forcing kind Erik to comfort me when we should be doingsomething. Not just standing here, waiting for another threat to come along. For another crazy guy to attack us. For a… crap. A drone could be coming after us right this second and because of me, we’re sitting ducks.

So I step back reluctantly, missing Erik’s touch as soon as I lose it. “Okay.” I lift my chin. Set my shoulders. “Can I help?”

As he looks at me, pride fills his gaze. After a beat, his expression sobers. “No. Just stand right here. Do not come any closer. No matter what.”

Panic flares again. “But you said you’d be?—”

“I will. But I’m already going to be worried enough, leaving you standing here. I need to know you’re clear of the fence. Okay?”

“Okay.” I take a steadying breath as I try to swallow back my fear. “I won’t move. I’ll stay here and be the lookout. In case anyone comes near us.”

Erik gives me another small smile. “It’s going to be okay, Tate. You’ll see.”

As I watch him walk towards the fence, I realize I’m not sure if he’s talking about the fence or everything.

Will we get past the fence only to be left stranded on the beach, our enemies closing in and his team nowhere in sight?

Will we find more traps by the shore; a last ditch effort to make sure no one leaves this place alive?

Will we make a swim for it, only to discover we can’t make it, after all?

Iknowthese negative thoughts aren’t helpful. But as I stand here, my stomach twisted in knots and my heart in my throat, my senses and emotions on overload, it’s hardnotto imagine the worst.

Especially as Erik approaches the wires with nothing but his belt and some leaves and branches he collected, which is a far cry from the tools and precautions I’d like him to be taking. Or better yet, not having to touch the electrified fence at all.

Where is his team? He said they were coming. Why haven’t they gotten here yet?

Anger surges at the faceless people who are supposed to have Erik’s back.

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