Page 28 of Catnip, Claws, and Chaos

“Oh! A pet store?” Sarah tries.

“Getting warmer.”

Kate narrows her eyes. “Just spill it already!”

I take a deep breath and blurt out, “I’m working as a receptionist at a veterinary clinic.” Instead of waiting for their response, I snatch Kate's drink from in front of her and take a long sip, needing the liquid courage after dropping that bombshell.

As if in slow motion, their smiles falter. A second later, their lips open in a big O, and their eyebrows shoot up to their hairlines.

Kate’s the first to compose herself, closing her full lips in a prim line. Her big blue eyes are still wide, and she has a deer-in-the-headlights look on her face, which tells me she’s having a hard time figuring out the correct response. A lock of blond hair falls over her face, but she doesn’t seem to notice. Instead, she reaches out for the glass I just stole and brings it to her lips. She frowns when she finds it empty. I told her I needed a drink. I’d probably burst out laughing if I weren’t still so shaken up by my recent close encounter with a monstrous reptile.

Meanwhile, Sarah clears her throat. She also has a constipated look, and her naturally pink complexion doesn’t help hide the flush on her cheeks. Jeez, it’s as if I’d told my best friends I went out naked in public or picked up some random guy just to show him my new Star Wars panties. Sarah’s havingthe kind of reaction a virgin has if you talk to her about sex. Now, I really do have to work hard to keep from laughing at how shocked they are.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Sarah ventures, destroying a napkin with nervous fingers. “I’m glad you have a new job, but?—”

“Are you fucking serious?” Kate interrupts her, slamming her palm down and making our glasses jump. My two best friends are exact opposites. Where Sarah’s quiet and timid, Kate’s like a tornado with a megaphone. Her language is worse than a sailor’s, and she can’t walk into a room without attracting everybody’s attention.

Sarah is your classic girl next door, small, with brown hair and enormous dark green eyes. Since kindergarten, when Kate threatened to beat the crap out of a kid for stealing Sarah’s crayons and I offered to help bury the body, we’ve been stuck together like glue. We’ve done everything together, including moving from our little town to New York.

“Have you forgotten what happened that time at the zoo?” Kate goes on, raising her voice to a level that makes the people at the tables around us turn to look. Some tattooed mountain man glares at us.

I sigh. The mere memory makes the hairs on my arms stand on end. The zoo fiasco, as Kate has immortalized it, took place on my tenth birthday. My little brother was four at the time and kept whining to my parents about going to see the animals at the zoo. I guess my parents thought they could kill two birds with one stone, so we all went to the zoo for my birthday. Sarah, Kate, and my little brother were excited about it, and for a while, I thought it might even be fun.

To be fair, it wasn’t that bad at the beginning. The animals were all in cages, after all, and if I kept a certain distance, I could keep them from noticing me. But it all fell apart the moment we set foot in the primate section. My mom insisted we take a grouppicture in front of theadorablelittle monkey’s cage. As soon as the creepy creature saw us posing in front of his cage, he showed his true colors, coming up behind me and grabbing my hair with his wrinkled fingers. It took two guards and a pair of scissors to free me from the death grip of thatadorablebeast.

Since then, every animal has had it out for me. As though they’ve got some secret group chat: target gained.

“It’s not like I have that many jobs to choose from,” I protest. Kate doesn’t need to work, and Sarah is a teacher, but I have to take whatever comes along. Even if it is working with a grumpy vet and a room full of demonic cats, dogs, and other things.

“Are you sure it’s a good fit for you?” Sarah asks hesitantly, her perfect pink nails squeezing my bitten ones. “It didn’t go so well with the dog-sitting job.”

“This time, it’s different,” I mumble. “I don’t have much contact with the animals. I answer the phone, make appointments, and greet the clients when they arrive. That’s about it.”

My best friends gaze at me in silence. They’ve got that sixth sense only friends have, the one that enables them to see bullshit from a mile away. Okay, they’re right. My experience with animals is pitiful. That time I worked as a dog-sitter, for example, well, let’s just say I’ve still got teeth marks where the sun doesn’t shine, and I’m pretty sure the emergency room staff is still laughing at me. It’s not my fault that every furry bastard I run across seems to have a personal vendetta with my ass.

“I can do this!” I insist, aware that I’m trying to convince myself more than I am them.

“Of course you can,” Sarah says. Her smile looks forced, faker than a three-dollar bill.

Kate offers no words of encouragement, but she rolls her eyes so hard they might get stuck. “I’ll bet the emergency room staff will have even more hilarious stories to tell by the time you’refired from this one,” I hear her mutter. “ER staff’s probably prepping your chart already.”

I snort. Really? She’s my best friend. Isn’t she supposed to support me?

Sarah lays a hand on mine and smiles sweetly. “Oh, come on, tell us how your first day of work went. We’re curious.”

“It’s been a week already.”

Their eyes grow huge at my confession, but I brush it off. Friendship, my ass. I really need some moral support right now. Especially after...

“My boss forced me to touch a fucking snake.”

“What?” Kate bursts out laughing, spraying her drink everywhere. People stare.

“Yep, I touched a snake.” I shrug. “Not just any snake. A monster. Like nothing I’ve ever touched.”

“I’m sure what Emily’s trying to say—” Sarah puts in, but Kate keeps talking right over her.

“I just hope your boss has a nice big snake!” She wags her eyebrows like a cartoon villain.

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