Page 31 of Weaponized

Taryn shrugs, unperturbed, as she continues her story about the guy she’s been seeing. “Do you believe he had the nerve to call me a ‘good girl’ when I went to my knees for him? Such a jackass,” she scoffs. “I’m not a fucking Labrador retriever.”

I bark out a laugh. I have never in my life had a girlfriend to talk to about sex. My father hired a high-priced call girl to teach me things when I was younger, but our relationship was short-lived and very technical in nature.I kind of like this newfound comradery, so I continue the conversation. “Um, did you tell him that? I’m told some girls like being praised.” I know a few of my past targets wanted to take on the Daddy role. Fortunately for me, playing the good girl allowed me to draw things out, which only turned them on more.

She cocks an eyebrow. “Yeah, right. You bet I let him know. He won’t make that mistake again.” She laughs. “Unfortunately for him, he learned avery hardlesson. I sent him home to manage his business alone.”

My eyebrows climb up to my hairline. “Did you break up?”

“Nothing to break up.” She smiles. “He’s just a fuck buddy. We’re not together, together. Besides, it’s already my senior year. I don’t want to have to find a new hookup at this point.”

“I, um, purchased some condoms, but Luca and I haven’t had cause to use them yet,” I blurt. It’s been on my mind, so the words come tumbling out.

Luca and I have become very affectionate over the past few weeks, so I’m sure everyone thinks we’re sleeping together. I don’t know why I need to process all of this with Taryn, but I like chatting with her. She’s so open. And so damn blunt. I find myself telling her about how Luca spends most nights at my apartment, touching me, driving me crazy, cuddling. There are a few times I think we’ll cross that line, but it’s almost as if we both want to save that last step in our relationship. Savor what we have. I can’t believe his patience or that he’s not rushing to the finish line. Sex isn’t simply a destination for Luca. It seems to be more of a journey born of his desire and devotion. That’s also a new experience for me. An uncomfortable, exhilarating, perplexing experience.

“Huh,” Taryn comments as she puts away the last glass. “I’m sure with the way you look, guys are usually a little more forward. Sounds like you finally found one who wants more than sex. Are you worried about it? I mean, do you want him as just a fuck buddy?” She says this with no malice.

I shrug. “I don’t think so.” I’m supposed to want him as a husband. Unfortunately for me, I can’t think past just wanting him. All the time. It’s ridiculous.

She smiles. “I know he’s not the most talkative guy, so I’m sure you could just jump him if you’re ready to move things along. The way he looks at you, he wouldn’t mind.” I snort at that thought, and she continues. “It seems like you two are playing the long game. If that’s what you want, then I’m happy for you.”

* * *

My smile is brittle. I can’t tell her that the only game I’m playing is a dangerous one. My father gave me four options, and I chose one. However, for the first time in my life, I’m terrified of completing the task that he has assigned me. I already know I could never put Luca in harm’s way. It scares the hell out of me that I may be asked to do so before my brother can enact his plan. I’ve done everything I can to help move things along. I’ve planted information with Luca and his brother about my father’s weaknesses. I’ve shared information with Rowan when I’ve overheard things about Victor’s whereabouts. The risk is huge, but so is the potential reward. I can protect the people I care about by helping remove my father from their lives. Any lingering guilt I might feel is worth it.

I’ve spent most of my time getting closer to Luca over the past month.He doesn’t use a lot of words, so I feel like every piece of information he shares with me is a gift. He also asks so many questions. He listens when I talk as if I’m the most interesting person he knows. It’s so easy to lose track of everything else when we’re together. I sincerely miss him when we’re apart. I’m still coming to terms with the constant feeling of longing in my chest. It’s unfamiliar, yet not entirely unwelcome.

Some evenings, Luca leaves early to attend one of Matteo’s fights or to help him train. The fourth or fifth time this happens, I ask him, “What happens at these fights?”

He runs his hand up the back of his neck and shrugs. “I dunno. They’re just fights.”

“Can I come see one?”

His entire body tenses.

“Why not?” I ask him, easily reading his body language. I’m surprised I’m even asking for his permission, but I am. I want his approval. While I’d love to see what goes on at these events—and what he’s doing when he’s not with me—I don’t want to rock the boat.

He hasn’t answered me, but I know that he’s thinking of a reason I shouldn’t go. I see it on his face.

“Angel.” His cajoling tone tells me I’m about to get a bullshit reason.

“Baby.”

He sighs long and deep. “A bunch of degenerates attend these fights.”

“Youattend these fights,” I point out.

“Like I said.” He shrugs, nodding, as if this explains everything.

“Can you take me?” I don’t know why I’m pressing this,but now that the idea has seeded itself in my brain, it’s begun to grow.

He growls a little. “I can’t. I’m in Matteo’s corner. I can’t watch you and help him at the same time.”

“No problem.” I smile and he seems to relax until I say, “I can ask Rowan to take me and my friends. Although I don’t know why I need a babysitter. Icantake care of myself, you know.” He has no idea just how much that statement is true.

“Gráinne,” he says flatly. He never calls me by my name. I don’t like it. “I don’t want you there. It’s not safe. There are too many people. Too many risks.”

I climb into his lap and kiss the underside of his jaw. “Please, baby?” I know I have him with that last word. My boyfriend doesn’t want to deny me anything.

He groans and wraps his arms around my waist. “I’ll talk to Rowan about it.” I’m pleasantly surprised he wants to reach out to my brother directly. I continue my journey of kissing his jaw, his neck. I can feel him hardening beneath me.

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