Page 77 of The Good Boy

Unless it hasn’t.

Unless I’ve taken life advice from a cheddar-obsessed dog, and all of my feelings for Miles are one-sided after all. And that part of understanding my life’s purpose is to let go of the past and forge a new future for myself and Rory.

Fuck’s sake, I knew it. I knew this quest stuff was a terrible mistake. I’ve opened up to my secret feelings and for what? SoMiles can meet the girl of his dreams right under my nose, that’s what.

Because it’s clear that Miles wants to make a good impression too.

While Claudia and I were bonding in the living room, he turned off the bright overhead kitchen spotlights and lit a series of tea lights instead. The roses are back in their vase, and the colored lights shining in from the garden have turned the poky little room into a flickering seaside grotto of love.

“Oh, Miles,” Claudia says, clasping her hands to her bosom. “This is lovely! You’ve made your kitchen really magical.”

“Well,” Miles shrugs, “we thought that more subtle lighting might make Rory’s injuries rather less... obvious.” He gestures at Rory, who is sitting with a bottle of wine in one hand and a glass in the other, leaning back against the wall for support. His forehead and cheeks are covered with a series of neatly applied sticking plasters. He is, both figuratively and literally, plastered.

“Oh, you poor darling,” I say, putting my arm around Rory as I spot the fastest escape route from the impending meet-cute. “Are you okay? Should we go home and you can cuddle Diego while I feed you ice cream?”

“Don’t make me wear the cone of shame again,” he tells me, with sudden intense focus. “I can’t stand it again!”

“Does it hurt?” Claudia asks, rather perplexed.

“No,” Rory says, “it doesn’t hurt anymore—not after the fourth glass of wine. The mental anguish will last for a long time—forever, perhaps—but in a way, now that my worst fear has become a reality, I feel a curious kind of inner peace. For there is nothing left to fear now but fear itself.”

“Don’t mind Rory,” I say. “He seems to be really quite intoxicated. I should get him out of your way.”

“No, no, please stay,” Claudia says as she takes her meringue confection out of the fridge. It does look really good, almost good enough to mitigate the imminent date solicitation situation. Almost. “Pudding will help soak up some of that wine!”

Her voice is high and taut with nerves as she clears off the table and sets the pudding down in the middle with a flourish.

“There’s no rush, Claudia,” I say pointedly, but it goes over her head.

“Give it,” Rory says, beckoning at the dessert.

“First,” Claudia says, straightening her shoulders, “I have something to say—”

“Why so much talking? Humans and talking, honestly.” Rory groans and I slap him lightly on the wrist.

“Ouch.” He scowls at me. “Have I not suffered enough?”

Miles turns to look at Claudia with an expectant smile. You can see how much he likes her written all over his face.

“I expect you’ve all been wondering what it was that the marvelous Madam Maria had to tell me when I had my reading today?”

To be honest it hadn’t crossed my mind, but if I’d had to guess it would have been something about being on the cusp of change, making big life choices, saying yes to opportunity.

“I didn’t tell her anything about myself at all; all I told her was that I’d met someone that I really liked. And that I hoped maybe if I asked him out on a date he might say yes. Madam Maria told me, she said, ‘You need to ask the question if you want movement in your life. Don’t be afraid of asking. The answer will be exactly what you need to find true inner peace and happiness.’”

I mean, that could be asking a pharmacist for laxatives, honestly. Remind me to have a word with Nanna about being a bit more specific with her mystic advice in the future. How many other relationships has she accidentally initiated with this kind of dangerous talk? Then again, as Nanna Maria often tells me, people hear what they want to hear. And all Claudia wants to hear right now is Yes, I will go on a date with you.

“Miles, this is obviously far too much effort to put into asking a boy on a first date, but I have drunk a lot of wine, and I just asked Genie for her blessing and she gave it to me. So with that in mind, please forgive the unforgivable corniness of this situation and say yes to a date with me at the time and place of your choosing.”

“You asked Genie for her blessing?” Miles looks at me. I look at my hands.

“She obviously knows you better than anyone, so it seemed right,” Claudia says slowly, blushing to the roots of her fair hair. “But now that I’m saying it all out loud I realize that I am coming across like an axe-wielding maniac.” She clasps her hands to her face. “Oh god, I’m so sorry... what am I thinking? I’ll get my coat...”

“No, no... no, don’t be sorry.” Miles looks at me again and I make myself return his gaze. There’s a question on his face, and somehow I still give the wrong answer. “That’s really sweet of you to ask me out...”

The three of us sit there, staring at one another in suspended animation. Rory stares at the meringue. Finally, I can’t bear it any longer.

“Miles!” I clap my hand on his shoulder. “We can’t stand the suspense! Say yes, already!”

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