Page 10 of The Good Boy

“Okay,” Rory says.

“Take the bag into the bathroom, then... I’ll talk you through any issues you have through the door. Maybe Miles here can give you some man tips?”

I look at Miles, who seems to have frozen. Maybe I’ve broken him.

“Why can’t you come in with me, Genie?” Rory asks. “You helped me get dressed at Halloween!”

“I know, but now that you are a man, it would be weird.”

“It’s not weird to dress me in a man’s shirt when I’m a dog, but it is wrong to dress me in a man’s shirt when I’m a man?” Rory asks.

“I know,” I say, glancing at Miles, who has clearly gone to his safe place. “It doesn’t make sense.”

Rory grabs the handle of the bag with his mouth.

“Rory, wait.” I crouch down and gently take the bag from between his teeth. “You have opposable thumbs now, see?” I lift up his hand, hooking the handle of the bag over his fingers, and close it. “You can carry stuff with your hands, open doors, push buttons, throw your own balls to fetch. The world is your oyster, pal.”

Rory looks at the fridge.

“So, go and get dressed and shout if you need a hand, and then we can work out what to do next. While you’re doing that I’ll make you a proper breakfast.”

“What, like sausages?” Rory asks.

“Sure, and toast and—”

“Spaghetti Bolognese?” Rory suggests hopefully, looking at the fridge again.

“I might have some bacon?” I offer. “Go on, Rory, off you go. Good lad.”

“Okay, Genie,” Rory says. As he takes the bag and straightens up slowly the blanket falls off him and I close my eyes just a fraction too late. “I’ll go put clothes on. Love you.”

“Thank you,” I reply.

“I have questions,” Miles says as Rory heads off to get dressed.

“No shit,” I say.

“Has Rory had...” He winces as all men do when they tackle the topic. “You know, the snip?”

“Yes, as is standard from the rescue home,” I say. “I am a responsible pet owner... was a responsible pet owner.”

“Well then, have you had a look to see if, you know, that giant hunk of man has got... you know.”

“Testicles?” I ask him. “No, Miles, I have not, and I am not planning to go anywhere near that bit of him, thank you very much.That man is my dog. He is basically my child! I have to do my best to look after him until I can get him changed back into his dog body, and that’s that. There will be no looking at boy parts or the absence of them. Unless you want to have a peek?”

“I do not,” Miles says emphatically.

“Then we will be glossing over the whole issue from this moment forth, understood? That man in there, he’s just a big kid. We need to protect him from everything and everyone.”

“We?” Miles looks alarmed.

“You are honor-bound to help, remember?”

“Yeah, but I’ve...” Miles looks at the wall that separates my house from his. “This isn’t my area of expertise, Genie. I was just trying to help you get a grip on reality. Because if your dog didn’t have... you know...”

“Testicles.” I roll my eyes.

“But if this individual does, then... you know.”