Page 144 of Only Between Us

“My friend Jake Wallace says his dad is having a party to watch your first game of the season and everyone is invited!” The kid, Weston, is talking a mile a minute, eyes stuck to me. “He’s going to be so jealous when he finds out I got to meet you. He couldn’t be here—he’s on family vacation!”

“Well, you tell Jake hopefully he can make it here next summer.I’d love to meet him, too.” I beam wide as I can until I notice what he’s wearing. “Hold up. I know you’re not out here wearing someone else’s jersey. You should be wearing mine. Turn around—let me see whose butt I need to kick.”

Weston wheels around to show off Cam Guerdy’s jersey. “I had yours from before. But it doesn’t fit anymore, and the people at the store said they don’t have yours in stock yet.” He jabs a glum finger over his tiny shoulder, presumably indicating the pop-up pro shop at the opposite end of the parking lot, which I can’t see through the sea of fans enjoying the event.

“Well, we can’t have that. Here.” I straighten and tug the game-day jersey over my head before handing it to Weston. I’m instantly relieved to lose the extra layer over my T-shirt. The sun is merciless this morning. “Should take you a few years to grow out of this one.”

Weston’s eyes damn near bug out of his eyes. He shouts histhank youat me, practically shuddering as he rushes over to his grandparents to show off his new gear. He’s real cute, his excitement contagious, and I swear, this has got to be the first real smile I’ve worn all week.

Summer throws an arm around me when she and Parker reach me. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing people fawn over you like that.”

Parker laughs. “If only they knew what a pain in my side Golden Boy Brooks was in the gym.”

“If only they knew my trainer was a raging sadist.”

“Hey, it got you here, didn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess it did.” I actually manage a real laugh, feeling a surge of affection for my friends. I’m glad they were able to beg off work to fly over for the event. They deserve it, given how hard they worked to get me here. “Couldn’t have done it without you guys.”

Not for the first time, I scan the crowd for a head of familiar shiny hair, knowing I won’t find it. Chances were always slim that Siena would have everything settled enough at home to make the tripback so soon after leaving. Especially when she’d only spoken to her mom last night. Still, part of me held out hope.

A few yards away, my parents chat with Josh, all three wearing my pre-retirement jerseys. They’re far from the only ones wearing them—my name is all over the sea of purple in this parking lot. The cheers were loudest when they announced me before the scrimmage, my line the longest at the autograph session. The fans have welcomed me back with open arms, and so have my teammates. My family lives just a drive away. I’m so grateful for it all; it’s everything I wanted when I decided on this comeback. Everything I thought I needed to be happy again, after years of torment.

And yet, my chest sits empty. Heart beating in the hands of a woman across the country. I haven’t seen Siena make a cup of tea in too long. Have no idea if the sun freckles on her face are where I left them, or how many she’s gained since I last saw her.

I don’t know how other people do it. She was right. The distance is torture.

It’s like she took half of me with her when her plane took off in San Diego, and the only time I don’t feel the crushing weight of loneliness is when I’m focused on avoiding a tackle at work. Like all the fairy dust has been scrubbed from my life, and the only doses I get are the few times our schedules and time zones line up for a phone call.

“You look miserable as hell, man.” Parker eyes me like he expects me to melt down here and now and is ready to step in at a moment’s notice. “Still haven’t heard anything?”

I pull my phone from my back pocket for the thousandth time today, staring at my text thread with Siena. There’s the message I sent her before passing out after a long-as-hell day yesterday, and then the unanswered ones from before this morning’s event.

BROOKS:Been thinking about you. Did you talk to your mom?

SIENA:Sure did. Fill you in soon.

BROOKS:Shit, I fell asleep. How soon is soon?

BROOKS:How’d it go?

BROOKS:How are you feeling?

“Still nothing. I’m losing my mind, guys. She was stressed enough about the distance, and then she talked to her mom, and…” The disappointment that I haven’t heard from her is bad, but worse is the anvil of dread weighing down my body. It makes me check my phone every other second, wishing I could be across the country with her, making sure she’s okay.

She put a heart emoji in her last text, which might be a good sign.

But she also hasn’t answered since last night—latelast night, considering the time difference and the hour at which I managed to escape my meetings. Had she been tossing and turning in bed after talking to her mom? Had it gone that badly?

Maybe she’s avoiding me. Trying to figure out how to break the news that she’s staying in Baycrest, and that heart emoji is meant to soften the blow. Maybe she’s… Fuck. Maybe she’s about to dump me, and she’s working up the nerve to do it.

“How bad was it when you talked to her?” She’d been putting on a brave face, talking upbeat whenever we managed to speak, but I know she’s been unhappy. And I’ve been helpless on the other side of the country, unable to do much about it but sneak texts to her between breaks in practice and meetings. I sent flowers to her mom’s house last night, just hoping they’d give her a boost.

Summer and Parker exchange a look, which Summer quickly tries to cover with a smile. “I’d rate it about a five out of ten on the meltdown meter.”

“Afive?” Parker barks a laugh. “Her shirt was inside out, Sum.”

Fuck.