She wavered.
‘Because what?’ Thysandra whispered, and she wasn’t quite sure her heart was still beating.
‘Because what matters is you. Not me.’ Naxi’s lips twitched into a not-quite-smile. ‘And even if I’m terrible at feeling love myself, I’m damn sure I can make you feelloved.’
Thysandra stared at her.
Felt, tangible on her skin, a blanket draped around her shoulders by gentle, feathery fingers.
Hot tea in her hands. A brush through her hair. Lips and hands on her body, coaxing her to sleep at night and waking her sweetly in the morning – laughter, danger,alwaysby her side. Did it matter what feelings did or did not lie beneath?
It would be grossly inaccurate to claimThysandrawas the one giving too much in all those moments.
‘You …’ She had trouble shaping words all of a sudden as the world shifted in and out of focus – away from that single stupid word she’d put so, so much weight on, and towards the nameless, unspoken feelings that had been there all along, in every fight, in every tender touch. The things shewanted. ‘You do make me feel … safe.’
‘Good.’ Naxi crossed her arms, jutting her chin forward. ‘I intend to make you feel very safe and very strong and occasionally horny. Anything else?’
Her heart felt like it might burst.
Could it be that easy? Ridiculous, and yet so many things had become easy when she’d let them be – because peoplehadhelped her and saved her and wiped the vomit off her lips. She didn’t want Naxi’s feelings. She wanted whatshefelt around Naxi. So if she could believe it, if they could stay here and—
Oh.
Stay here.
Her chest deflated.
‘You’ll want to go somewhere else, though, won’t you?’ Even as she spoke the words, her shoulders were already tightening. Bracing for the next blow to hit. ‘This is my home. It’s never beenmoremy home. So if you want to leave, I—’
‘Oh, I don’t want to,’ Naxi lightly interrupted.
‘You … you don’t?’
‘No.’ A sudden, dazzling smile. ‘I actually think I haven’t wanted to leave in a while. Kept trying to convince you, but I was trying to convince myself just as much. I’ve come to the conclusion that I really like this court.’
It took several seconds of replaying those words in her mind before Thysandra dared to assume she had in fact heard them correctly.
‘What?’ she stammered.
‘Well, the Labyrinth is lovely, of course. And not scared of me.’ Naxi spun around, pointing to the east as if directing an invisible orchestra. ‘Faewood needs some work, but I think I can fix it if you give me afew decades. And maybe we can domesticate the hounds? That would be pretty funny. Creon says there’s plenty of good soil for gardening, and—’
‘Are youjoking?’ It seemed unlikely, admittedly – but then, it seemed equally unlikely that any of this was true. ‘You … you really want …’
‘Well,’ Naxi said, lips twisting into a wicked smile, ‘upon reflection, idyllic islands are pretty boring, aren’t they?’
A breathless chuckle slipped past Thysandra’s lips, and then another one. And then she was laughing – wholehearted, unstoppable laughter – because the world was great, the world wasperfect, and there were a million-and-one things she needed to do, but Naxi would still want her if she did exactly none of them …
‘So you want me to stay?’ There was such light in those bright blue nymph eyes, such unguarded, un-demon-like hope. ‘Do I make you feel happy, Sashka?’
‘You make me feel stupidly happy.’ She felt dizzy. Like she’d flown too hard for too long, drunk on the rush of the wind, spinning on the edge of lost control. ‘I … I’m not sure I’ve ever been this happy before. I …’
‘Oh good,’ Naxi said, and her shivery little giggle sounded as delighted as it was surprised. As if even she hadn’t believed life could possibly bethisgood. ‘I really like it when I make you laugh. It feels like I’ve won something. You’re really pretty when you laugh, do you know that, Sashka? Your eyes—’
Thysandra could not care less about her eyes.
One step forward, one dip of her head, and her lips smothered the rest of that breathless sentence.
Epilogue