Page 134 of With Wing And Claw

Panting, heaving silence.

‘And I?’ Thysandra bit out, every muscle and tendon tightening.

‘You have no right to talk about family.’ Naxi spat out a bitter, burning laugh, staggering backwards. ‘You wouldn’t recognise family if you fell into their gods-damned arms. You’d be so busy distrusting them all that you’d rather lose them and feel safe again than put even the tiniest, saddest little bit of faith intoanyone– wouldn’t you?’

Hounds roared in the back of her mind.

Skin tore. Bone snapped.Thysandra!he had shouted, stumbling up the slope to reach her, dripping teeth dragging him down.Thysandra, again and again and again—

And she’d lost him.

Distrusted him and lost him – but hell, at least she hadsurvived.

‘Prove it to me, then.’ She was pleading now, and she didn’t even care; her legs were buckling, and she didn’t care about that, either. ‘Please. Make that stupid bargain. Prove me wrong. Iwantto trust you, I swear, but—’

‘Oh, you don’t,’ Naxi said, voice quiet.

‘I do! I really do!’ Her knees thudded back to the floor. Her ankle twisted again, and then all of a sudden she was crying – pathetic hollow sobs wrenching out of her and reverberating through the empty hall. It felt like reaching for that non-existent memory again. Like grasping for something that should be so,soclose, and simply … wasn’t. ‘I’mbeggingyou to let me trust you, don’t you see? I just need—’

‘That’s not trust, Sashka.’ Barely a whisper. ‘Trust is scary. You’re looking for the opposite of it.’

Survival.

Was she to blame for wanting tosurvive, now?

‘Please,’ she blubbered. ‘Please, I—'

‘I didn’t betray you.’ Flat. Apathetic. As if it could be that easy – a pair of teary blue eyes and absolutely nothing else. ‘I don’t know who did, Idon’t know how they did it, but it wasn’t me. So are you going to believe that?’

She wanted to.

She really,reallywanted to.

She knew what would happen if she asked again.

But the gallery lay in shambles. Her old allies might never respect her again, and her new ones had been driven away before they could even start respecting her. If she somehow survived this blow, she could never,neverafford another defeat again, and Bereas’s sneer was still there …

You’re fucking the wrong person, love.

How could she not wonder?

How could she not fear?

How could she ever sleep soundly at night with that irresistible threat of treason beside her?

‘Please,’ she choked out. ‘Please just—'

Naxi turned around.

‘Please.Please!’ Not again. Not soeasily, more than anything. She couldn’t bear it, another heart shutting hers out without a wince – as if she’d never been worth the regard in the first place. She’d known of a demon’s lack of ability to love. She thought she had prepared for it, and yetnothingcould have prepared her for the sight of that slender back moving away from her now without a single stumbling step. ‘Naxi, please!’

Not the slightest falter.

Don’t be so demanding, Thysandra, the Mother had said, smile cold and scathing.The arrogance, to think your tears are the first of my worries…

She had to stop crying.

She had to be strong.

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